Computer

Soon it will be time to go to someone else's house and suck the productivity out of them, too. mwah ha ha ha.

I said suck. huh. huh. huh.

Now I really really really will leave the computer, and go take a shower (since I never did work out today, I didn't get out of the workout clothes. Usually that trick works-- put on the workout clothes and it will mean you will workout before you change. But not today).

But check out my new pictures on the pictures page, as well as a few new entries to the about me page. You'll have to scroll down to the bottom of the pages.

Workout

allright. I surrender. I now declare today a workout free zone. I don't feel like it. I probably would if I walked away from this stupid computer, but I just don't wanna. Don't wanna. Don't. Wanna.

Exercise

If I spend the entire day PLANNING to exercise, is that the same as actually doing it?

Or if I post yet another link to the many many ways in the world to waste time while waiting for your lunch (a Lean Cusine Dijon Beef Tips, thank you for asking) to digest, and then find that it's been too long and now I have to wait for dinner? How about if I start my new leaf Tuesday (cause I have to work Monday?)

This is a useful and helpful addition to humanity's needs.

I found this addition to my definition of my webly-logy thing:

procrapstination: Procrastination while relocating--specifically, avoiding packing when you realize how much crap you have and try to figure out how much of it you can leave behind.
Example: After much procrapstination, Chris decided it would not be necessary to take along his entire scrap metal collection
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Procrastinitis: Condition in which employees or students are absent the day before an important project is due, inherently due to them putting the work off until the last possible minute.
Example: The student, stricken with Procrastinitis, remained home to finish the 4 page essay (the day before it was due).
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
procrasturbater: someone who gets their kicks from putting things off
Example: I am a master at procrastibating, I'll tell you all about it later!

Dave Attel

I still love Dave Attel, even though his website is lame

Work Out

STILL haven't worked out. Note it's changed from "go to gym" to work out. I am going to do it at home. But not the Traci Lords Porn-o-cize video. Something that makes me giggle less.

But first, lunch.

My cat is a freak

My cat is a freak

Because I just spent several seconds torturing my neurotic cat with a hot neon pink mouse on a string. She literally hid under the bed, and not in a "wow I want to play" way but in a "terrorists are invading, hide the children and Monex gold notes under the bed" way. Poor little freak. She wanted to play, and the mouse on a string looked like fun at Petsmart. Apparently, it has all kinds of cat evil pheremones on it or something. Maybe it's like the equivalent of a baby's head on a stick for me... who knows what kitty logic is in that furry little head of hers.

Nissa called-- apparently there may be a crisis in my home later as she might need to escape a family-related invasion of her home later. As a good friend, I have told her that I a fully prepared to turn into a freak in need of therapy later so she has to say "oh, man, I'm sorry to leave you relatives I didn't want to hang out with anyway but my friend is having a nervous breakdown." Which we will then treat with vanilla vodka and a movie. Ho-rah!!. (that's Marine corps speak for yeah!)

Really, how many times can I use the modifier "later" in one short paragraph?

Photo

I wanted a really deep, really poetic & cool photo of me for my blog over there where I now have the photo of me and Andrew smiling all sweet and stuff. I decided to leave what I have there, though, cause I think he looks so hot in that photo. All cowboy-ish like I remember him from those sweet old dating days. And those blue eyes. Growwwwwwwwwl.

Okay. Now. Go. To. The. Gym.

Blogging stuff

Yes. I have been editing my template again. I think I finally have settled upon a color scheme that doesn't make me want to puke. It's my favorite color (that garnet red) combined with a purpley shade that contrasts nicely. Not so boring as white, but readable. I will be editing the extra pages (the about me and pix) soon to reflect the color change. I also I think fixed the link problem so that those links in the sidebar actually link to somewhere. And I've spent several hours frolicking in other people's blogs having blog color & font envy. But I will be me. I will. Just, later. I did not, however, figure out how to make my archives pages the right colors. This blog thing is sorta hard sometimes. So now, to the gym, batgirl!

One Word

I like this blog. One Word It's sorta hard to do, though. My depth entry is very shallow. I thought I had to enter my name and stuff in the 60 seconds, or I would have written more. Really.

I also think that if you get to feeling like you ought to complain that I have nothing intelligent to say, and my blog is boring, you ought to read this one: dullest blog

List

I have been talking to people who read my blog, and it's clear to me that I should be doing more interesting and Mother Teresa sorts of things. So this morning, after I went down to the orphanarium to feed the many orphans, I worked for a while on my cure for cancer. It appears, on close study, that the side effect of the cure will be a cheap, renewalable, environmentally curing source of fuel. Yes, it's been a productive morning. :)

On the other hand, I got several whining emails from students this morning, who suddenly woke up and read their assignments and weren't listening in class when I told them to "mark off" the part about a section of the assignment I wasn't requiring them to do. Is it just me, or is this semester the most annoyingest in recent history? I think it's me. I think because I should be doing other things and I went ahead and convinced myself to teach anyway that I resent any second not spent either in something lazy & fun or something productive and leading to me finishing the dissertation. That includes teaching related activities.

Plan for the day: Work out-- to try to get rid of the pint of Godiva Chocolate cheesecake ice cream I ate last night.
Do some paperwork: work on grades for students. You know, they ought to not annoy me on grading days.
Maybe a movie? It IS Sunday after all. A weekend.

Thank GOD it's almost the last week of school.

Bored

In case anyone was wondering, based on how miserable & bored I am right this sec, I think it would take a miracle for me NOT to finish my dissertation once this semester is over. Sigh. Again.

Heavy Sigh

Andrew just left to go back to Shreveport. We decided that I couldn't ride with him because tomorrow (Sunday) is going to be a really heavy air traffic day, and I'd likely get stuck in Dallas. The next time we'll be together will be at Christmas break, I guess. It's not too long, really! So we've been making our holiday plans, or trying to, and deciding when to travel. I think we'll probably go over to Florida around the 20th of December, then back here after Christmas and spend New Year's here, then he'll head back to S'port sometime a few days later (I'll go with him that time, and fly back here when he starts classes again.) After January it'll be a little easier, cause I could go up there whenever it's convenient, since I won't be teaching. As long as I'm working well on the dissertation.

Speaking of that, the dissertation fairies visited in my sleep last night-- I got some great ideas for how to work on the issue of feminism as choice (sort of) in the intro, and throughout. It was an interesting dream, and I remember it very strongly. I'll describe it another time, though, since I am feeling sad cause Andrew's leaving. Please let the road trip be smooth and not trafficky for him, and let the Starbuck's all be open & the road angels be on point. :)

We're back home in post-Thanksgiving Andrew is here-ness.

It was a fun trip-- main anxiety was remembering WHICH exit the good Starbucks is at (exit 339) and whether it would be still open at 9 pm (yes, till 11). :)

Today we're going to Nissa & Aaron's to watch some silly college football game. I think it's some team like the Texas longeared cows, or something like that. (Okay, if that doesn't get a comment I don't know what will). Hey-- do I have any Aggie t-shirts? I used to. Where'd I put 'em? Trouble. With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for p... um. Something that starts with p. :)

I made pie yesterday. Homemade apple & pumpkin, and the pumpkin wasn't from a can, either. Yummity yum yum.

One bad thing about today:
I have a damn cold sore. I'm pretty sure one of my friends shared a marg with me at one point and passed their creepy cold sore virus to me. I never used to have these stupid things!!!!!!!

One good thing about today:
Andrew is here. :)

Shreveport

Today I'm heading for Shreveport again, and no computer access. Blee! Maybe there is a computer cafe there somewhere that I'm not aware of yet-- I'll have to do some searching. I hate being away for so long. I am debating taking the laptop, but it's such a pain to carry on airplanes nowadays.

It's cold here today! I know folks in other areas of the country probably would say that 35 isn't so bad, but boy it's nipply! I was going to say something intelligent, but now that I'm here, and haven't eaten breakfast yet, I can't think of anything remotely intelligent to say. Ah well. Not a big surprise. There goes the timer for my coffee. I love my french press!

Comments

YAY! Daysleeper rocks!! I just got an email from a Gaiman board buddy, who asked if I had the comment ability in my blog. Well I had been wanting this feature, which I've seen on OTHER people's blogs, but not been able to figure out how to get it! Thanks to Daysleeper's query, I shouldered my trusty quest gear and headed out to find out how and why I couldn't find how to add comments to my blog. I found the script, and as of just this five minutes ago, you, dear gentle reader, can comment on any of my blogs. So comment away! Procrastinate with me. You'll find yourself excelling at putting things off before you know it.

Practical Magic

Also, I'm working on dissertation stuff today. After the drive home, I went to get a copy of Practical Magic (I have loaned out all my copies-- annoyingly enough!) and I'm reading it for content that will be quoted and commented on. So I'm bein'have.

Danger danger!

Today, at Starbuck's, I caught myself listening to a Christmas carol and sort of liking it. Sort of feeling "holiday spirit" wash over me. ARGH! I would really prefer to cultivate my pose of being slightly annoyed that the Christmas stuff is so early. Why is it that one cannot remain a Scrooge? What's so wrong with thinking it should at LEAST be December before the Christmas stuff starts?!?

I don't know

Heee hee. I rock. And I need a shower. So there.

Good Books

okay, better. I called & left an "I'm sorry" and a "just trust me" message on Andrew's voice mail before going to the gym. So by the time I was done, he had dinner and I had worked out and we were fine and not cranky anymore. It's never a bad bad argument, but I hate it when we do argue at all. I think this blog, though, helped, cause I was able to articulate what I wanted to say before I said it, and emotions didn't really get in the way. Yay blog! I've also agreed to do some work on dissertation stuff tonight and later this week, even though I had sorta decided to put off work till the end of the semester. But there's no real reason other than sheer greediness for "good books" to not work.

Scowly

I've been trying all day to avoid "crinkly forehead" syndrome because it's not attractive, and feels icky too. I had managed to, today, in many ways-- mostly because I've made a plan to go visit Beth & her little baby, who I've never gotten to meet since Beth & hubby were out of the state when baby was born. It seemed like a good idea to me! I am socializing, yes, but I haven't seen her in years!

So I just told Andrew, and he got that "disapproving" voice people sometimes get and scolded me that I should be working on the dissertation in my "downtime." Hmm. I guess of all the people who bug me about the writing, Andrew is the only one truly & totally allowed to do so. But I don't think he understands my feelings about this. Having screwed up this whole Fall semester because of the teaching, my plans are to buckle down come the end of the month when school is totally out, and then get back to work. Until then, I could do minor things-- BUT right now, I'm waiting to hear again from Dr. R about the changes I made last week to the proposal. So until I hear from her, I'm not really ready to do any more writing.

I think part of what bugs me about this is the sensation that people don't trust me. Fine. You get a phd and write your dissertation and you can tell me what my schedule ought to be. (I know that sounds spiteful & bitter. I'm feeling a little that way right this second.) Gentle reader, I'm venting.

So to be scolded when I am perfectly honestly going to work my butt off come the middle of December, and my truest intention will be to be done with a draft by the end of this coming summer, and I really know it will happen, then I feel a little crinkly fore-head-y about the scolding. a. I don't think I really deserve it and b. I forget what b was for. I had something for "b" for a second there and now I've forgotten it. So hence more vamp forehead action. Was b maybe that I feel it's unfair to scold me on this? I know he's got to be getting impatient-- but man oh man. I think people don't really understand that nagging me about this ONLY serves to make me feel defensive and cranky and puts my back up and my tendency to resist what everyone else tells me to do gets activated. Even when it's something I want and need to do. I have to then fight my scorpio nature and get over it, but it ISN'T HELPFUL PEOPLE!!

While I'm still teaching too much, I really really need time on the weekend for myself! Maybe Mr. Scoldypants is working and studying and being all good right now. But he doesn't have anything else on the side-- his whole job right now is being a student. Mine is being a teacher all friggin' week and I need some time to NOT do things, too. Am I justifying? Am I making excuses? Maybe. But I guess it's part of the difference between the way the two of us think about things. He has to constantly plan and putter, whereas I just get it all done in these massively productive bursts of energy. So just wait for the next burst, wouldja? And don't hassle me till the burst doesn't happen. Trust me when I promise it's coming.

Grrr. Argh. Again.

Bloggy stuff

So I'm trying to figure out why when I click on the "about me" link over there in the sidebar it doesn't go to the page, but to an error page. It looks right, and the page is working http://www.womenwriters.net/blogs/aboutme.html But. But. Hmmm. Shower first?

So until I figure out what the heck is wrong, if you want to read about me, use this link. Not like there's necessarily anyone new here. (taps mike:: is this thing on?::)

Template

Okay, I still haven't fixed the template issues. Obviously. But I will soon. First I must shower and eat and stuff.

Today is day one of Kim's Thanksgiving Break adventure. What will I do what will I do? I was thinking, ya know, with this airplane privledge thingy I have, I could even GO SOMEWERE COOL before Monday when I have to go see the hubby. But then someone would have to feed the cat. Hmmm.

---

Messed it up

Dad gum it. I just screwed up my template. EEEEP! Forgive the obnoxious barbie color scheme right now--I'm working on fixing it, but now I have to figure out a whole new template and how to edit/customize it for my own purposes. Ah well. Your eyes will recover someday.

Enigma

How many times can I use the word cranky in one day? Hmmm. It's an enigma wrapped in a mystery.

Vacation

Yay! Thanksgiving break! I know it's early, but basically, I find that the Monday before the break I lose enough students that it's really pointless to have class, so I didn't schedule them on Monday. So my first day off is tomorrow. Yipeedee skippidee. Really-- that's not sarcasm at all but sincere yippee ness. After my day today, I really need a break.

I'm going with Nissa & Aaron to the Fox & the Hound (not the movie, the bar, thanks for asking) later to drink a bit. Yum. Maybe a Frangelicomartini. MMMMM.

OOH. I thought of a poem on the way home. Like ta hear it here it go:

George Dubya George Dubya
where have you been?
I've been to London
to visit the queen.
George Dubya George Dubya
what'd you do there
watched protesters and pretended I didn't care.

Okay, I didn't say it was a good or even original poem. I said it was a poem. So. You have to say it the Texas way "DUBya". That way the rhyme scheme works.

So I'm listening to this new Bon Jovi CD that has "classic" Bon Jovi acoustically rendered. "Livin' on a Prayer" has Olivia D'Abo on it, and at first I thought the womanly voice was John. It was a little weird. But I think I like it so far.

Finally, on "boob watch"-- yes, they're still irritatingly sore. I wish I knew why! So that makes, what four, five days? Cranky cranky.

On snotty bloggers

Also, why doesn't anyone to whom I write about how cool I think their blog is respond to me? I always write back to people who tell me I'm cool. I think they're less cool if they don't write back. I take any nice things I said back if I don't hear from you within, oh, three days. You have time to fill a blog with comments but not to write back to an admirer. It's not like I'm asking you to write my frickin' dissertation for me. I mean, if I asked you to do that and you didn't write back, I would understand. But if I said "hey, you're cool" at least a THANK YOU would be nice.

Brownie countdown: T-minus 1 h 30 min.

Buffy

After a few cranky cranky moments, and telling my early presentation students that under my smile I actually looked like the vamps in Buffy just before they eat you, I am feeling a lot better now. It may have had to do with food consumption-- I ate a good breakfast, but man was I cranky anyway! One of my students cleverly bribed me with soy nut snack (her pres was on vegetarianism) and it started to boost my mood. So here is the mental note: apprently, when I am low on protein, I get vampire-y. Good to know. I wrote this in one of my notes while listening to presentations: if I were to rip a student's head off and drink his/her blood, do you think that would affect my chances of one day getting tenure? (Seriously. I think it would actually help it).

Okay, hello, what part of not talking on your cell phone in the computer lab do 1. the student who is having a long conversation NOT understand and 2. the lab techs who are being PAID to monitor things like that NOT understand about their JOB!?!?!?!?!?

Apparently the vamping is not quite over. ::she said, as she slowly pulled each hair out of said rude asshole's head.::

Annoyed

Wow. I can't believe how annoyed I am this morning at the littlest things. I guess I may need to go open up those brownies NOW. What, did the testosterone fairy visit me in the night? Damn little pumped up thing.

Persky

Oh, and Persky-- it's a BLOG not a BOG. Silly little yankee.

Grrr. Arrgh. This morning many people are giving me the crinkly forehead of doom. I look like a vampire from Buffy (hence the grr argh). Students who want to do last minute impossible things and who will get cranky WITH ME for not being able to miracle them up some internet access in the classroom, lab techs who arrive significantly LATE to their job thus making me WAIT many many minutes to get my own work done before slacking off and blogging, people who want me to give them FREE content for their PAID subscription website "in a few sentences". Growl. What's a line-reducing cream to do? Good thing I have chocolate, frosting covered brownies in my office, and a pint of low-fat milk in the fridge upstairs. Otherwise, I might be ready to rip someone's head off by the end of the day. But other than all that, it's going well, thank you.

This morning many people are giving me the crinkly forehead of doom. I look like a vampire from Buffy (hence the grr argh). Students who want to do last minute impossible things and who will get cranky WITH ME for not being able to miracle them up some internet access in the classroom, lab techs who arrive significantly LATE to their job thus making me WAIT many many minutes to get my own work done before slacking off and blogging, people who want me to give them FREE content for their PAID subscription website "in a few sentences". Growl. What's a line-reducing cream to do? Good thing I have chocolate, frosting covered brownies in my office, and a pint of low-fat milk in the fridge upstairs. Otherwise, I might be ready to rip someone's head off by the end of the day.

But other than all that, it's going well, thank you.

---

Book Note

Just finished King's new book, Wolves of the Calla and wrote a quick review for Amazon.com. I really liked it! It's a goodie-- a nice step on this long quest which creepily has taken me twenty years (or more!) to read. I read the first Dark Tower book way way back when I lived in Abbeville, La. Before my niece Sara was born, I think, which actually makes it more like 23 years. Ugh! I hate to admit that it's been that long! I re-read them all a few years ago when Andrew bought them for me. One of the things I mentioned in my amazon review was that I have not always loved every one of King's books. A few I have actually stopped reading. Nowadays, I tend to just not have the time to keep reading a book that I don't care for, that I can't get into after a few chapters. But at the same time, it's such a pleasure to read a good one, and to then share it with Andrew (who will really like this, I think). It ends a bit "cliffhanger" ish, but at least we won't have to wait too too long for the next installment.

I also bought a new cake pan, the Nordic ware sunflower pan, and a present for Nissa's Christmas party "white elephant" exchange. I am happy about the present-- it's something I thought of getting last year but dawdled too long to buy in time for the party (it's a mail order thing.) So yay! I'm not sure Andrew will be here for the party but I will have to have some fun there. Maybe even plan to spend the night if only to help with the cleanup since Aaron & Nissa usually help with our party clean ups. That's the burden of the "reserved room." :)

Anyway. Now I have to decide if I should start on one of my new books or watch one of the movies I rented. I'm thinking movie-- so I don't waste that money and turn them in unwatched. I hate doing that!

Tiny Font

After some complanints about the teeny weeny eye-strain-o-vision font of my blog, I have taken steps to enlarge it slightly. I think it is definitely more readable. Something about it being so small was sort of cool, though. But, the readers have spoken.

Tituba likes the blog

The cat is purring loudly on my lap. Apparently, when I'm blogging, I don't wiggle in the cat-annoying way I do when I type anything else. So she's a happy kitty. I think she'll be happier when I put on my sexy new Victoria's Secret nightie (not because of the sexiness-- for god's sake she's a cat-- get your mind out of the gutter people!) but because it's time for bed and she'll lie on my feet and purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Kitties are cool.

Bedtime!

College and TMI

Okay, so all is right with the world. I managed to register my piddly little 1 research hour with only moderate cursing and yelling at the computer screen as I struggled to remember my password and username-- not the usuals, since I was required to use specific alpha numeric that don't fit my "norm." EEEERP! But eventually my brain sent me the proper combo.

Now, home, after having a successful pizza night (mmmmmm pizza). And I've been told, the critics are in, and my blog is apparently funny (at least to people who know me.) Ah. I can rest. All is right with the world. I was going to make this snide comment about other really serious things comparing my happiness to REALLY SERIOUS (cue dramatic music) issues but then I thought it was a little too much. So leave out issues, cue commercial for Organic Experience Shampoo. And a Toys R We commercial.

Love love love. All ya need is.

And the nips? Yeah. Still sore.

Sore Nip countdown: day two!

Yuck

Ugh. I don't feel well again-- I think maybe I could be developing an ulcer from all that motrin use. Thanks to modern chemistry I get to help myself with one problem and develop another.

Just adds to a lovely grey, rainy, making-me-cranky as hell day.

Computers

I hate computers. I hate people who sit in computer labs dedicated to multiple users and chat loudly. It all makes me cranky and I will take my wrath out on those who come into contact with me today.

For some reason unknown to all except the gods who hate me, I cannot log into the TAMU system to register, even though supposedly my account info is all activated and stuff. Evil evil evil. And the nice helpful message on the website is "to stop in to a lab and get your password fixed." Oh yes. Yes. I am having a really really really annoying morning. Already.

At least the irritating grad students who were TALKING have left the lab. I send them jedi mind vibes that will cause them to register for undergraduate Spanish courses without their knowing why. And they will sit next to two frat boys who say that adding "o" to the end of an English word makes it Spanish. Coolo. Righto. Myo wratho iso complete o.
mwah ha ha o.

Office Hours

I'm at school right now blogging while in my office hours. I really should be grading student proposals & stuff but I don't feel like it. The blogger admin posted an Onion story about a 30 year old whose mom found his blog, and he's freaked cause now she'll know details about his life (I never can figure out-- is the Onion sometimes serious or all satire?) I don't really worry at all about the mother-unit finding this blog, but if the "Ivory Tower" saw how much I complain about teaching duties (heh heh, I said duties) then I could be in trouble. I dunno-- maybe it's really better to cultivate this sort of attitude-- I mean, all the great writers who taught all pretended to hate it, right?

Ooh. Must remember to register for research hours! No repeat of last semester's nightmare.

---

Get Drunk by Charles Baudelaire

Get Drunk and stay drunk!
That's it!
The great imperative
In order not to feel
Time's horrid burden
bruise your shoulders,
grinding you into the earth,
Get drunk and stay that way.
On what?
On wine, poetry, virtue, whatever.
But get drunk.
And if you sometimes happen to wake up
on the porches of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the dismal loneliness of your own room,
your drunkenness gone or disappearing,
ask the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock,
ask everything that flees,
everything that groans
or rolls
or sings,
everything that speaks,
ask what time it is;
and the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock
will answer you:
"Time to get drunk!"
Don't be martyred slaves of Time,
Get drunk!
Stay drunk!
On wine, virtue, poetry, whatever!"

irritating children, basketball & revenge as a cold dish

I guess this will come back to haunt me someday, perhaps, especially if god is particularily interested in something like irony. The children who live near me annoy me greatly. They play basketball all friggin' night while I am trying to quietly read &/or get drunk. (Get drunk & stay drunk!)

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Thud. Bounce Bounce bounce. Thud. Whack.

For hours

Shouldn't they be doing homework or something INSIDE and QUIET?

I know. I sound like a cranky old woman. But when I'm trying to listen to birds chirp & watch the geese fly overhead in the twilight purple and honk ever so much like a volkwagon with a loose wiring thingy, the BOUNCE of basketballs is highly irritating.

I find myself trying the Jedi mind trick: you want to go inside and watch The Simpsons one hour special.

And then:
"your brain suddenly implodes and you lie writhing QUIETLY on the pavement, your basketball shrunken and pierced under your quietly breathing grand mal body".

I'm pretty sure I'm a cranky old woman.

Song & Silence

You know, in a book I liked (I loved the first in the series, liked the one I'm talking about) by Suzette Haden Elgin, she has this thing about song being for humans like light is for plants-- a way to literally get energy-- food. I think in a much less literal way that's true. I love music-- love to listen to the radio cranked up with music from rap to Hank Williams sr. to classical. But sometimes, it's really important, I think, to turn the noise off. If it becomes noise, just turn it off rather than trying to find something that doesn't suck as much as the rest. This afternoon that's how I feel. I've turned off all the noise boxes in the house, and there are birds singing and dogs whining. I don't exactly love the dog whining, but it is important to realize, I guess, that there are somewhere creatures that are miserable in the lack of company, or food, or something. Quiet is good. I feel refreshed and strengthened by it.

On the drive home, there was another one of those nature moments that the Romantics loved-- awesome beauty. Overwhelming and so breathtaking that if it were a painting, you would think it was just too much. There was this really dark cloud, hanging very low on the horizon, but it was big-- just not the whole horizon. And over it was the sun, in as much glory as the setting autumn sky can grant. It was "squinty" bright-- hot white nuclear bright. But just under it, soaking up that nuclear whiteness was this dark cloud. It was a study in contrasts that made me think that we are often defined best by our opposite-- the light is only truly light when it is almost (but not quite) absent.

Now I've had a wonderful dinner & a good book and am about to go lie in the hammock while the light keeps and read with a glass of Merlot. Happy sigh.

Two good things and two bad ones about today:

Good things:
1. I'm wearing a new t-shirt that really makes me happy. It's black, with white "handwritten script" lettering that messily says "your lips keep moving but all I hear is "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH..." Complete with proper punctuation. Happy sigh.
2. I love Rhapsody's music service! I'm listening to the new Sarah McLaclan album, and yes, it's kinda nice, but no, I don't wanna buy it. What's cool about Rhapsody is that for 10 bucks a month (cheaper than the CD's I might buy wondering-- will I like it? but that radio never lets me in on) I can listen to most songs, then decide without buying a CD which will languish in the CD cabinet in the living room forever. Happy. And so it ultimately saves me money cause I only buy those songs and/or CDs I want.

Bad Things:
(these sort of fall into the TMI category, so if you can't take it, skip)
1. My boobs hurt, for some inexplicable reason. It's not apparently hormonal, but they are sore and my nipps very sensitive, and not in a good way. Most likely it IS hormonal, but in one of those "let's spring it on her after 20 years of thinking she's got this what it means to be female thing down" sort of way. Pffffhhht.
2. also sort of personal and TMI: it's really annoying to have a pimple at the same time as I have crow's feet starting to show up in the corners of my eyes. I know, I know. "They're laugh lines." Baugh! I shake my age-defying moist cloth in defiance and irritation at the world. I know pimples aren't really a sign of youth, especially those that show up around the lip line. But it's just not fair to be old and young at the same time. :- p'

Hello from tangent-ville.

Okay, so on TRIO they also have this show in the "brilliant but cancelled" category called God, the Devil and Bob. It's a cartoon where God is thinking about destroying the world (again) and decides to give us a second chance if he can find one righteous man. (I'm going to stick with the masculine pronoun here cause in the show, God is shown as male-- even though I think God has no need for biological gender). He "lets the devil in on the bet" by letting him pick the man (which the devil clearly tries to win the bet by picking an imperfect man who the devil is sure will screw it all up). The show got into all kinds of trouble, and eventually was cancelled, partly because Christians objected to it as blasphemous and evil. I really wish that folks would concentrate on things in the world that I think are truly evil on TV-- a few jokes about religion are a bit less troublesome (IMHO) than the dozens of murders a day one can see on basic TV.

One problem people had with it was they claimed God would never do something like that. Hello! Can you say Book of Job? In that book, God basically makes a bet with the devil around Job's faith. It's in the bible, you know. So it's not like this is much of a stretch to imagine being a possibility. Of course, some Christians have always had difficulty with aspects of Job's story. Anyway.

My point is-- I think the show was really funny, and always quite on target with the basic intelligent person's theology. God gives us free will. This is why we get in trouble-- we often know we shouldn't do something bad but do it anyway because we are imperfect. God could have literally (at least, an ominpowerful god) caused humanity to NOT have choices, and then that whole Garden of Eden thing would have not happened, right? But God allows choice, and that includes the choice to do bad things. Think of A Clockwork Orange-- the "choice" to be evil is taken away from the protagonist, and so whe he is "Good" it is meaningless! Only when that person is "good" because they WANT to be good does it mean anything!! But ultimately, most people are pretty darn good. Don't go around kicking puppies and stuff but really wanting to make the world a better place. And I think God and the point of being here has a lot to do with that philosophy-- make the world better than it was when you woke up this morning, even if only in a small way.

So I'm digressing and getting into bad argument zone because I'm getting sidetracked.

But my point about this whole darn thing is this: the show was cancelled, partly because religious folks objected to its message, thought it was blasphemous to show God chatting with (and making a bet with) the devil. And that God is shown drinking beer (for pete's sake!) And that the graphical image of God is shown apparently to look like Jerry Garcia (I'm not sure this was deliberate on the part of the show's makers-- honestly, he has a white beard and mustache. That's a traditional image of God! Jerry Garcia was a lot heavier-- he wore certain kinds of clothes.... God basically looks like an older man with a mustache & beard who has liberal hippie tendencies). Perhaps he does look and perhaps the creators meant him to look like Garcia. It's not like he looks like Jeffrey Dahmer or something-- what did Garcia do that was so evil? Oh yes, he was human & flawed and did stupid things that eventually caused his life to end. That doesn't sound like ANYONE I know.

It was really upsetting to me to look around on the net and find only ridiculously illogical, non-specific arguments about how evil the show was. Often these arguments were circular (the show is bad cause it shows God being blasphemous and that's blasphemous of the network and they're going to Hell.) Another thing these "critiques" on the net show was arguments that completely forgot things like JOB.

One website went down the list of its objections to the show, including things like that Noah was perfect and didn't drink (did you forget that Genesis 9:22-23 shows Noah drunk and naked lying about in his tent? This is the whole thing that gets his son Ham in trouble, and ends up being used by bad theologians in the past as justification for slavery). So the point is that even a "perfect" man, chosen by God to save a piece of humanity (that is otherwise seen as beyond salvation and drowned) has human imperfect moments. The whole claim that the show is immoral merely because they show God drinking a beer is really a stretch. They show God saying "how did we live without Starbucks" too. Should we condemn the show for that reason cause coffee is a stimulant, too. And Starbuck's is corporate, clearly evil, right? Making the world all liberal and hippie minded like those Northwestern Washington types. (yeah. right.)

Drinking is one of those places that people like to get up on a soapbox and say "the bible clearly says" it's bad. Well that's not true. There are other places that it "clearly" says other things about drinking. I personally think the point is NOT TO DRINK IN EXCESS!! All of the places people like to quote about alcohol being EVIL really to me are interpretable as statements against OVER indulging. One does not get "red eyed" drunken-ness from a glass of wine, or even two.

Again, I'm getting off point. What bugs me about narrow-minded bad arguments like this? Really? Is that technically I am a Christian, a believer in God. (Granted, I think I have very liberal views and I doubt that many of the folks who wrote those websites would think I am anything other than bad). What bugs me is that these folks succeed, all the time, in ruining shows like this one because they CLAIM to be a moral authority on what God would like. What DOES God think about things like sin? Well, even from a Christian standpoint, God allows a way out of it-- so yes, it's wrong, but it's not like there's no chance of redemption. In theology, I think there is ALWAYS a chance to redeem oneself. And we can never know, even if we think Jerry Garcia was bad and therefore the show is bad cause it shows God looking like him, that in his heart, Garcia wasn't "right with the Lord." How, really, do you know that? Are you claiming to be omniscient?

I don't think so bub. The Bible also condemns hypocrisy. If you're claiming to be so righteous that you can firmly and authoritatively say that YOU are the only right person, I think you're committing quite a sin yourself. You might be surprised to find out that you are not an authority on what God thinks, and claiming to do so is a bit of a stretch on your part.

But then again, I could be wrong. Maybe those folks really are right, and God really is so narrow-minded and caught in the 19th century Puritanical view of everything in the world that is "fun" is sinful. If so, well, I reckon it's really only me who will suffer from my wrong-beliefs. Those folks will be happily hanging out with that God in heaven. In this, I believe in the Billy Joel song "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun". Funny how Jesus hung out with a lot of sinners, huh.

Feministy

So here's where I get all theoretical on you. The show I'm watching just did the bit on gender-- talking about how feminists will get offended by things like being called a chick or a bitch or whatever. I remember I was on this feminist listserv a long time ago and I made a joke, off the list, to this woman about "sacraficing a virgin CD rom" to the computer gods for her computer to work. She got TOTALLY offended, and said something about virgins usually being women, and that I was really inappropriate. I mean, for god's sake-- I WAS TALKING ABOUT A COMPUTER!!!! So I said something about it being a joke, and that I thought that was one of the problems with feminism-- that it didn't have a sense of humor. And that even got me in trouble, labeled a "Bad feminist" because "that sort of thing is always used against women." I love it, when I think about it. All the things that hurt feminism are that so many of "us" fall victim to this mentality that allows others to have power over us even as we insist they shouldn't. If I get offended you calling me a bitch or a 'ho, don't I admit to you that there is something true about those words, and something true to you being superior to me? If I say "yes, ha, that's funny?" don't I potentially weaken your power over me, and take my own power over my own ability to define myself?

Last night, at the piano bar, when they were singing Margaritaville and the line "but I know, it's a woman's fault" or something like that, the piano player pointed at me. Ha! I'm sure he thought I'd get all uppity and/or deny it. I shook my head, yes, yes, I did it. Raised my hand like, "oh yeah, that was me." I think he was a tiny bit thrown. Because probably his "pat" response to that is to make fun of the woman who protests it wasn't her fault. I didn't apologize either. Yes, I did it. Thanks! Have a nice day. Then he ended the bit with a "she's accepting responsibilty for it" sort of joke. But it didn't really win HIM the points. I got them. I was the one who "stole that show" in a sense. And if I were the type to take offense at a Virgin CD Rom computer joke, I would probably think Jimmy Buffet was being a misogynistic bastard for blaming women for his missing salt shaker. Women are sometimes our own worst enemies. And even as I type that, I worry that someone somewhere is going to complain that I'm a bad feminist for saying that. Well I say bad feminists are the ones who say there are "proper" things we are allowed to say or not say.

Comedy

I'm in the middle of watching this show on TRIO called Uncensored Comedy: That's Not Funny. It's really interesting; it deals with comedy that has pushed buttons over the years, from Amos & Andy to ? It's not quite halfway through and very interesting. I think they're about to move from talking so much about race & into gender, cause it's about to do Andrew Dice Clay. I think it's interesting cause this is a show that's techinically "educational." If I were in high school, I'd wanna nap. But then, in high school, they either wouldn't show this or bleep everything offensive and therefore make it dull.

Birthday!

Well yesterday was neat. I hadn't really realized that the "Saturday night" stuff we were going to do was my birthday celebration. We went to the new Pat O'Brian's on the Riverwalk. It seems weird to have one of those places NOT in New Orleans. But it was pretty cool-- they have this piano bar with dueling pianos and everyone sings sappy stupid songs. It's totally corny & my teenage self would have thought it the lamest thing in the world. But my inner drag queen likes to sing sappy lame songs loudly in public. And a lot of other people have inner drag queens too. You see them gesturing like they were Liza Minelli. Mwah ha ha.

But I got some nice presents, and we had a cake to die for! I missed my Andrew, but other than that, it was the best birfday in a long time.

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Pretending to Work

I am off to Starbuck's where I can write and work on my proposal corrections without distractions. Like this blog. And the cat who is meowing annoyingly at my feet. By the end of the day, I will have something done!!

Morning shmorning.

I got up early so I can go work out before my long hair appointment. It's all vanity-- I don't want to work out after the hair appt. cause you always have good hair after a visit to the salon and I don't wanna mess it up with a later workout. Ah the concessions I make to be buff & have great hair. Whoda thunk it long ago when I barely even wore makeup and my favorite thing to do was lie around doing nothing? ::thinks of pensive things::

Today my plan is to take my proposal to Starbucks & work there. Since I've been blogging & posting to the Gaiman board too much at home, I feel that I need some non-Cable modem connected computer time. I'm gonna try it. I think it'll work, as long as that "I'm a guy talk to me" guy doesn't come to the shop and bug me. There's this line in To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf that reminded me of, where the woman painter is painting and this guy walks up and she knows he'll want her to pay attention to him. I'll have to look up the exact words, but I remember thinking of that when mustache-feeling guy showed up the first time. Anyway.

Bed

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Okay, so now it's bedtime. I've been chatting a teeeny bit on the Board, but I think maybe it's time I rested my weary head.

Here goes

I keep thinking if I sit at the computer and type long enough I will force myself to work on something productive. Okay, so right now. Here goes. But maybe I'll just go take a nap instead.

Blogs

Okay, so instead of doing dissertationly things, I was surfing blogs. On Mr. Furious' blog, he had this "Belief O Matic" quiz, which I just took too.

This is me:

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Neo-Pagan(97%)
3. Liberal Quakers (84%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (84%)
5. Mahayana Buddhism (83%)
6. New Age (81%)
7. Secular Humanism (75%)
8. New Thought (73%)
9. Theravada Buddhism (67%)
10. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (66%)
11. Scientology (64%)
12. Hinduism (63%)
13. Reform Judaism (63%)
14. Taoism (60%)
15. Jainism (59%)
16. Bahá'í Faith (58%)
17. Sikhism (51%)
18. Orthodox Quaker (45%)
19. Nontheist (45%)
20. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (41%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (35%)
22. Orthodox Judaism (33%)
23. Jehovah's Witness (25%)
24. Islam (23%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (18%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (16%)
27. Roman Catholic (16%)

And while I'm not at all surprised about the Neo-Pagan showing up so high, and a few of the others, I am surprised about Quakers and that Mormonism even shows up above the last one at all! I think Roman Catholic is so low cause of my feelings on abortion & homosexuality. But it's interesting. I'm going off now to look up the #1 category.

PLEASE GOD MAKE HIM STOP!!!

I went to lunch with Andrew's dad and some other folks. We went to the Luby's at the mall (a cafeteria style place). There was this horrible horrible new edition to this Luby's-- this old man who played a portable electronic keyboard and sang. He had dozens of hats, and would put on one of the hats as apparently appropriate to the song he was currently singing. I say apparently because the songs were SO bad and SO out of tune and SO TERRIBLE HERE COMES THE APOCALYPSE like that the only tune I could make out was the one that I think is about the war of 1812.. (fired our guns and they came a runnin')...... he wore this floppy "cowboy" hat for that-- although if it was the war I'm thinking about, a cowboy hat wouldn't fit. Still. So when apparently part of the song there would be gunshots, he banged loudly on the table. Over and over again. I began thinking wistfully of real gunshots, which would allow me to run screaming from the restaurant like I wanted to without embarassing the poor old guy, who clearly was trying to make a living in some way. And he began to notice, after a while, that people were trying desperately to talk over him, so he got louder.

Honestly, I don't really even play the piano and by banging randomly on keys and howling out songs, I could have done better.

He had a large jar of "tips" with a lot of money in it. I think people were paying him to stop, only they didn't have the heart to tell him "please stop." It's like a terrible car crash-- you really just want to avoid talking or thinking about it, but it is there and horrible and you're stuck right next to it trying to eat your Salmon patty and corn and salad as fast as possible.

But at least it makes for a good blog entry. I kept thinking: I must record this. But really, I can't possibly convey how awful it was.

Wondering

If I'm at the computer typing, doesn't that mean I'm working?

To a student

Now that I'm looking at it in the light of day, my email to my student looks sappy, over-wrought and something. But really, I remember asking teachers who I liked to critique my poems, and they didn't really help any. Now that I'm the teacher, I kind of know why (it's something you REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to do because student poems are almost always not good). Of course, mine were. :)

So I sort of regret posting it here. But I'm not gonna take it away. I feel sort of Rilke-esque. So there.

Whining

Okay, I just really really really am supposed to get some work (real dissertation related work) done today. But I don't wanna. Do I have to? Can't I just win the frickin' lottery and stuff?

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Snatch this poem from my hand

I just sent this email off as a response to a student who wanted me to critique his poem:

First. Keep your passion. Don't ever let ANYONE convince you that you aren't right and they are wrong. But at the same time, listen to the advice of people who have nothing to gain. Sometimes, it tells you something about the world. Most people won't speak honestly about poetry. I try to, because I get so many people writing un-interesting stuff to my website.

Okay. On the poem. I assume you're asking me cause you want to improve. You want to learn. You'll never learn if people are just nice to you. It's a nice poem. But do you want to be nice?


Love poetry is pretty well a popular format. I would say, honestly, that what you've written doesn't offer something new that I haven't heard before. To be brutally honest (you asked me to, so don't feel too abused, please, as a poet, I know you'll say "she sucks. Doesn't know what she's talking about." But listen a little.) How is your poem different from a Hallmark card? We don't want to aspire to be hallmark writers, generally. yes, they might make a lot of money, and if that's what you're going for, GO FOR IT. But if you're going for art, something that makes a mark on the world beyond the card someone reads and tosses in the garbage with the rest of the wrapping paper:


How can YOU change my perspective of the world? Make me think: Wow. I've NEVER seen it that way before. ???

The surrealist/modern painters imagined a view from multiple lenses. Imagine if you were looking at a naked woman walking down a staircase from a fly's eye? From more than a 3 d perspective? From maybe a 50 d perspective, where you could see every angle flat at once? How would it look? http://www.emory.edu/ENGLISH/Paintings&Poems/nude.jpg

Here's a poem about it: http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/1230.html
Look at art. Look at other people's poetry. Even if you hate their work, know it. Know how to change it.
How can you express the new and unique perspective of *yours* in writing?

Learn the rules TODAY. Then learn how to break them. http://www.poets.org/index.cfm


What is it you have to say that is new, or different about love? Most modern poets no longer try to force their poetry into a rhyme scheme,
preferring instead to use the lines as a way of emphasizing specific thoughts. You can "end" a line or begin one to start off a thought:

see: http://cj.colliertech.org/?menu_item_id=71 a poem by ee cummings
(which I suspect you'll like).
See how he plays with line endings? Read the poem out loud. Experiment with actually ENDING your voice when the line ends. See how it flows/and/or fails to FLOW? This is also an answer to your query on "how sexual innuendo works in academe". Only slyly.

How many folks do you think have imagined love as a game? Is that a fairly common idea? Could you, instead of starting off with this basic idea, instead imagine a specific type of game? Or perhaps love as something ELSE?


Poetry is really hard. I rarely write stuff I show to anyone else anymore, because I'm a bit of a cynic about my own work. But mostly, what modern audiences are interested in is something that makes you see it from a new angle, something we hadn't thought of before on our own.

Read this: http://projects.ups.edu/engl/203/cpfahl/padgett_nothing.htm
Then read this other interpretation of the same "poem." http://projects.ups.edu/engl/sp2001/203a/scockett/March%201.htm Then listen to it: http://sofasamosa.tripod.com/ this is read by the poet. Does something change for you in the REALLY bizarre, simplistic reading of a simple line by hearing it?

Finally, to write poetry, you MUST read lots of poetry. Discover for yourself where your style fits. What are you doing? Who are you like? How are you different from them?

Poetry is the bouillon of the world. It needs to be as POWERFUL as putting a literal chunk of chicken bouillon on your mouth. (Do it if you've never. Try veggie if you need vegetarian). That's poetry. Do it.

But finally, realize that I might be totally wrong. Do what you feel. If you feel it, it doesn't matter who loves it or anything. Write and you will learn.

Grasshopper.

Maybe it's just the glass of Merlot talking

You know, now and then, you (me) think about things. Stuff. Like when Andrew met me, I was barely ready to start college, had just FINALLY dumped the big giant loser high school boyfriend. I was living at home with mom and sister and her kids. Pretty lame in many ways. I mean, I had all these goals-- college, etc, but no real way to think about getting those goals done. It isn't really Andrew, but after I met him, I was always too ashamed to be so lazy that I procrastinated the hell out of getting the college stuff started so I did it. Now I'm procrastinating a PhD. I mean, think of all the things I've actually accomplished in spit of the procrastination!!!! He had done so much already, at a mere 27 (which seemed old then, god help me). And now, I look around the little nest he's built for me, with my cute black kitty cat meowing at me, and King of the Hill seeming like it is saying something intense.

Okay. I'm pretty sure it IS the Merlot.

But I love you guys.

Fun! (not)

Did I mention that a student brought Girls Gone Wild as a visual aid for her presentation on Mardis Gras (sorta) to class today?! Eeek! When, oh when, did I lose control? Otherwise, the presentation was great. But apparently, I inspire some sort of porn mentality in some of my students this semester. Maybe cause I'm a PILF. :)

Why is that?

Why is it that when I'm in the car, I can think of so many witty and clever things to say but by the time I get home all I can come up with is a bad Andy Rooney impression?

I've decided I will speak for the rest of the day like the guy with the indeterminately foreign accent on the chiropratic commercial that was just on TV. It's too bad you can't hear me. I'm very very funny sounding. And I'm talking to myself, which is really frightening. Don't tell Nissa; she might commit me to the "after five/before five" ward.

I watched the Simpsons-- the fabulous Streecar Named Desire episode. Is it sad, weird, creepy, or cute that Homer reminds me in many ways of my sweet baboo? All the good ways and a few of the bad ones. :)

Grading Jail

Okay, new day, new dollar. I'm teaching today, and I've spent the morning grading. Back when I decided I wanted to be a teacher, I never knew how much grading papers suck. I really like talking about books, and even teaching people how to write essays & learn stuff about grammar and style and formatting and stuff. (note: the overuse of the word "stuff" signifies my complete lack of brain power after grading all day. Just live with it).

But I HATE assigning grades. It's partly the whole laziness thing cause it takes forever to grade. But another part is that I do know that a lot of students do tons of work and get poor grades just cause they're not good writers, and a lot of students take 20 minutes and get a good grade cause they're just naturally gifted at writing. There are universities that assign only a "pass" and "fail" grade, and I kind of like that idea. But how do they know how/what to improve? I guess in that case I'd still be doing all the writing on their papers and making changes & suggestions, and revision would be important, but I wouldn't have to make the distinctions between an 89 B+ and a 79 C+. They'd both be passes, just one would be better written.

::le sigh::

Anyway. I'm exhausted-- it's physically draining to sit at a desk and grade 50 essays. Pffffhhhttt. Piffle. Blech. Ick. And other one-syllable words that denote tiredness and irritation.

Now I get to spend a day listening to oral presentations. Joy.

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Halloween Party

Halloween Party pictures are ready! WOOOOH!! What a way to waste several hours that I should be grading papers. Hee hee.

Giggle of Girls

At Starbuck's, they've already started using their "Holiday" cups. And they have "eggnog lattes." Scrooge scrooge. Humbug humbug humbug!!!!!!

But today at said Starbuck's, there was this "giggle of girls" (you know, a gaggle of geese, a giggle of girls)..... I think they were cheerleaders, there for some sort of meeting. I don't think they really needed ANY more caffeine or sugar.

Oh make me over, I'm all I wanna be, a walking study, in demonology

On the way to the gym, I pass this beauty salon every day and often have to stop in traffic light traffic. I am not sure whether they're being funny or not. I think they're actually being serious-- the salon is called "God's Gift."

Now, do they think that it is a gift from God to be beautiful and therefore to fake it up nice with some beauty products? (hello vanity-- seven deadly sins).

Or, is it a joke on "you must think you're God's Gift"?

I can never decide. But based on the way the shop is located, and the lack of any other indicators, I really think they think that they're somehow a Christian beauty salon.

It makes me laugh. Not that Christians can or can't be beautiful and go to salons-- but that there is a bit of a contradiction there in calling it that. Or am I just being a heathen again?

Nerd Update

Nerd Update:

Since this is new, I figure I need to mention-- the nerd update will only be held on Mondays and Wednesdays until the end of the Fall semester. After that I'll have to find some other sad un-politically correct thing to make fun of.

Larry Flynt

Okay so now a new day and a new blog. I'm afraid I have nothing really interesting to say here. What do bloggers who do nothing during a day really talk about? I guess some people can write about just anything and make it interesting.

Oh, I guess I could write about my student who thinks he's the next frickin' Larry Flynt, who wrote me a totally inappropriate essay and I told him to rewrite it and then I get this email from him "debating" it. Harumph. I told him it was NOT open for debate. I'm not against porn within a proper context, but that context is NOT my classroom, thank you very much. These kids have seen Clueless too many times and think that they can negotiate their grades. No way, no how. Not only that, but I'm a much better negotiator than they are. So don't get me started buddy boy. I mean, if Larry Flynt was in my first year Comp course, I would tell him the same damn thing. "Look Larry, love that publishing empire you got there. Good work with the First Ammendment and all. That story on Falwell-- funny. But don't write it in here. Give me something about your family's old home, or trees or something." and then I'd say "Hey Larry, can I borrow 100 bucks?" No, probably not that last part. My boss probably wouldn't want me to borrow money from a student.

Angst!! Terrible angst! My blog is uncool and boring!!!! (that last should be said in a Golem voice. Precioussssss.)

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One liner

Now I'm really going to bed. So stop bothering me.

better

And my tummy is feeling better, thank you for asking.

Updates

Okay, I've published new sections of the blog, the about me page and the pictures page. See. I can procrastinate with the best of them. And now to go read my new Steven King book which is not in the least bit related to my disseration. Ha!

Sick

Okay. Because my tummy really is upset (I think it was the milk in the coffee at the coffee bar where the DN (dancing nerds) are I'm going to say one more quick thing before I forget it and then go take a nap.

This afternoon on the drive home

the song 867-5309 was playing. Yay!
then that song I don't like by Avril Levigne came on and I caught myself singing to it. Boo!

In Texas at this time of year, you often get these really cool cloud moments. The cloud cover is fairly thick, but it has these bumpy holes here and there. And the sun blasts these spotlights of white sunbeam through the holes and you expect to look over and see the hand of god reaching through or something. There were dozens of these white-hot sunbeams blasting the highway in front of me through mottley grey clouds on the way home. I drove through one of the sunbeams that was strongest. It was one of those nature-highs that I don't think a lot of people notice. And if they do, it's only to put sunglasses on and complain of the glare.

But for me, I say "yay ::insert deity of choice::"!

Now. To nap. Pizza night is officially cancelled due to queasy tummy action. Pfffhhhttt. We will be serving after the nap a nice chicken soup from a can and maybe some sparkly water.

Karma

My tummy is suddenly upset. I guess making that joke about the student with food poisoning has come back to haunt me or something. Curses. If I'd known the food poisoning gods were listening.....

I don't think it's that serious but ick. I wanna go home and take a nap NOW.

Lunch

Oh yes, and if you were wondering (why, oh why were you wondering?) for lunch I went with the Oriental Pot Stickers. Mmmmm.

Evil Laugh

Note: the student I commented on a couple of hours ago now has twenty minutes to finish her work. She doesn't look done to me. Boy is she going to be annoyed (I'll bet) at my "you can have one more day to finish it" speech later. Mwah hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Notice that is an especially long evil laugh.

Spellcheck

blogger's spell check wants to change the word Nerd to Nordic.

what do you think about that?

My red boots

Yes ma'am. My red boots are dead sexy. You know you want me.

Blogger Envy

Oh, yeah. On procrastination and my Blogger-envy

Okay, I thought I was doing this procrastination thing pretty well. I mean, I've really been putting off my dissertation, which means putting off a real job, putting off having kids, putting off being a serious adult. Getting the big bucks and being able to shop at Ann Klein (and not the outlet) all the time and buy whatever shoes I want. Having a honest-to-god shoe closet someday. But apparently other people are better at this procrastination thing than I am. I can't believe it! I have to work harder at procrastinating!

Thus, I have posted numerous blogs today, and have walked around campus feeling smug and clever.

Nerd Watch

This is probably going to get me landed in Hell one day. But still, it's worth it.

Today's Nerd Report:
TSN (or, Tall Skinny Nerd) wearing: beigetones plaid overshirt, khaki shorts, tennis shoes
SCN (or slightly chubby nerd) wearing: navy blue t-shirt, jeans (faded), tennis shoes. I think they're New Balance. They're grey.

The two nerds were dancing away, all happy like. Then as I was leaving, they did a TANDEM dance. Wow.

I wonder, do they go out to clubs where all the "hotties" are and say "let's try that thing we learned on the karaoke game today"?

I got all excited about my nerd watch idea and wanted to take notes on what they were wearing but I didn't have a pen. So I had to get down here to the lab as soon as my class ended and type this. Sigh. I feel so much better now.

Dancing Nerds

Dancing Nerds

I wanted to quickly mention the dancing nerds. There is this spot on campus, the rec room sort of place (what do the kids call em nowadays anyway?). They have one of those dance/karaoke machines where you pick a song then dance around on sensors to the music and win the game by doing it really well and dancing. There are these two guys who are there every time I go there, and they dance away. They are not at all graceful; they do not look like they'd pick up the hotties at a club dancing this way. In fact, dare I say it, they are nerds. One is the skinny tall nerd and one is the slightly portly nerd. (Since I myself am a nerd, I don't feel bad about calling them what they are. So there. Take it or leave it). I watch them all the time, and they dance away, getting all the moves "technically" right and making the machine yell "way to go" and "wow." It's funny because most of the time they don't draw a crowd; no one seems to notice them, although I'm sure they think they are really cool and OUGHT to draw a crowd. In their minds, they're wearing that white leisure suit and pointing at the ceiling and will one day make a fabulous comeback in Pulp Fiction.

The other day, there was a cute girl sitting there watching them though. And another time I saw a small crowd watching. I'm not sure if the crowd thought they were cool or not. There was some muttering, and I think I heard the phrase "burn em" once or twice. So they might have been one of those sorts of crowds. (I just made that last part up, for effect, to make my blog more interesting. Hee hee).

But the nerds, ah the nerds. Ah. nerds. You silly silly nerds.

Feeling Old

Kim and the Portrait of Dorian Grey (Gray? How is that spelled anyway?)

It was my birthday last Saturday. I turned 34, yes, I am not ashamed to say it. I'm not at all ashamed of my age-- just the little tell-tale signs of aging that I really did not expect to turn up yet. Like, for example, the white hair just at the top of my part that is currently sticking straight up waving its little flag of surrender to everyone who peers closely with a magnifying glass at my head, saying "Kim's gettin' old and needs to go to the hairdresser." That darn hair. I know that I am probably THE ONLY ONE who sees it. But I cut it off, instead of pulling it out. I'm on to that little thing my mom used to say about "if you pull a gray hair out, 7 more come to its funeral." So instead of killing the thing, I regularly amputate it very short and make it lie there suffering. Mwahahahahahahahaaha ha.

Anyway, before I got distracted by my stupid gray hair, I was talking about my birthday. I did not do anything really exciting. Andrew & I got up, lay about his apartment aimlessly, (I think we watched the Animatrix-- or was that some other lazy day?) We ate breakfast, went to the gym (I am superwoman with big muscles. Hear me roar.) Then we went out and bought the ingredients for me to make a KICK ASS lasagna some cookies & some ben & jerry's. Watched a movie (Bend it like Beckam-- which is really sweet & funny & worth watching).

I did mention to Andrew several times how lucky he was. I didn't even demand new sparklies. Although the guy in the other movie we watched (Sunday morning) sent sparklies to his daughter. You can read other posts to see what movie that was. See, I'm building suspense and fabulous interest in my blog by not telling you. (insert another evil laugh here).

Blog blog. That sort of sounds like a dirty word, doesn't it? I'm sure that's not at all an original thought. But that's me, not original, typing away here where it is time to go to lunch.

Today I'm having either a Lean Cuisine Oriental Pot Sticker meal or Lean Cuisine Santa Fe Rice. And a sparkling lime water. Yumm yummity yum.

Speaking of students (I know, I wasn't). But there's one in the lab right now from a class that doesn't meet in here finishing up her paper which is officially due in two hours. I suppose if she's coming in here to FINISH the work, it's not so bad. But I'm all depressed that they wait so long and I constantly catch them at it. They just better not try that "I worked all weekend on it" thing on me cause I'm onto 'em.

Despair

Why oh why are other people's blogs so much cooler than mine? I'm having a serious case of blog envy right now. So in that spirit, I'm sitting in the lab where my students are type type typitying away on their manuals, and I am avoiding much important work by blogging my little heart out.

I should probably not talk about students in here. Cause they might find it, and then decide that I'm a mean old witch for talking about them. Well I am a mean old witch (not old, really, just older than them) but it has nothing to do with this blog. Mwah hahahahahahaha ha. (that's my evil mad scientist laugh. Cool, huh?)

Andrew is being anxious again about things like money, careers, job security. I say screw it! I've lived in trailer parks before and I know that given the worst case scenario, I would have the best-lookin' trailer in the park. That's really something to shoot for, right? Okay, now I'm feeling depressed about what I just wrote. But I was just going for a sort of "glass is half full" approach that really isn't working out.

No matter how hard I try, I apparently cannot write the witty self-mocking yet terribly funny way that other people's blogs are written. So I will go for my usual whineyness. It's worked this long.

Grading

Okay, so today I have graded all my students' papers, including their homework grades. They will find out today how much NOT doing their homework affects their overall grade, and I'll have a dozen of them whining about it. What gets to me is that they don't care enough during the regular course of the semester to keep up with their homework & the syllabus & come to class every day, but then suddenly, at the last minute, it's both all my fault because they don't have the points to get an "A" and they "want to know what they can do." I'll tell you what you can do-- go back in time to the beginning of the semester and be an "A" student. Grumble grumble, grouse grouse.

So Andrew is still out of town and I am doing okay-ish about it. Sometimes it's not a big deal at all-- I'm busy, and just go through the day without having to worry about feeling sad or anything. But then, for a few minutes, I just get to missing him and of course, as soon as you try to control that feeling, it gets all balloon-y and you're crying like a doofus. That doesn't happen often, but weirdly enough, after seeing him this weekend and having a great time, it did. Almost as though when I don't see him I feel better about it. But that's happened before-- back when he was in the Navy full time when he'd go away it would be easier if he was just gone, and then came back. It was harder when it was a few days or even weeks at a time.

So the "kids" are starting to trickle in to the lab now. Maybe I'll need to pay attention-- but they are on their own for lab work for most of the class period. I do need to give them their final and stuff. So more later.

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Bloggity

Note to J: better? See? I'm blogging away like a bloggin' fool. But just not in any sort of intelligent and insightful way.

EWWWW the cat just pooted. The words to Phoebe from Freinds' song:

Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault.


And Kim's addition: but boy do you stink. EW. Get off my lap.

Hey, it makes as much sense as the Phoebe version. Who, by the way, is also an INFP. Hee.

Pome

I wrote some good "pomes" today. (Yes, spelled wrongly on purpose). This one I like:

boasting,
green, orange-throated lizard--
bold on the wooden fence.
doesn't see the mockingbird.
who sees him.


There's more I wrote, but they are on this sheet of paper in my carry on airplane luggage, and I would need to go grab it and drag it in here. Again, with the whole previously mentioned "lame ass" ness, I'm trying to avoid writing here. But I am really not all that interested in the Italian Job again. (as also previously mentioned.)

But the cat says mew. And demands three days worth of pets. Is mew cat for "hey lame ass"?

OOOOOH and guess what? FINALLY after years of waiting, the new Steven King Dark Tower book is OUT OUT OUT and guess who owns it already? Mmmm hmmmm. And it was 30% off. So you know what I'll be doing later (after The Eye-tal-ian Job is over. Piffle. Don't wanna wait. ::pouts::) Reminds self to be grateful that self has good friends who take self out to dinner and buy self birthday presents. And cards. And make the restaraunt waiters sing birthday songs and bring balloons.

Self really needs to stop talking about self in third person.

Self is annoyingly hiccuping. Self goes back to Marky Mark's marky goodness.

Weird

I'm feeling dreadfully inferior because I am not as witty and smart and frickin' funny as the following blog: http://outofcharacter.blogspot.com/ that JEANNINE so kindly pointed out to me. Phhhffft. I don't have a dissertation to write, so I will just read this person's blog from now on. Surely I can find a tenure-track job doing this. God knows there are profs with WORSE specialties out there. (thinks of a few. gets annoyed. resolves to find cooler specialty than annoying woman who I am thinking of). And way hotter than. :p

Okay, and my friends are in the other room watching the Italian Job (mmmmm marky marky goodness ::drool::) which I saw this very morning on Andrew's Shreveport couch. And they very nicely sweetly and other adverb-ly came over to offer me human companionship so the cat did not murder me in my sleep after me being gone for three days and I'm in here being a lame-ass on the computer.

I'm sure there's some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder involved. But really, I didn't want to see Italian Job again so soon. I guess I shouldn't have asked them to come over, then, huh? :)

EDIT: Just re-reading this and I realized I wrote it badly. The annoying woman is NOT the blogger that I mention. It is a professor at a university I once knew.... so that is cleared up. And I don't think that analyzing blogs would actually be a bad specialty. It would be sort of cool, but probably more a sociology sort of thing. (dated December 16, 2003)

Travel

Today I am going to see Andrew in Shreveport. :)

Alcott

Okay, so I have my Alcott photo essay posted. It's fairly short, but sweet. Check it out here

Keep Going

Jeannine was saying that I should get rid of my blog cause I haven't written in it in a while. Well, nah, I think I'll keep it, cause now and then I still feel like posting something here. I'm working today on downloading photos from the digital camera for my Boston/Niagara Falls trip, and then the Halloween party the other day. The digital camera is a bit picky on how it likes to do it, and I've tried a couple of times to do it all at once and it keeps crashing the browser. So now I'm doing it something like five photos at a time. Which is a pain in the neck, but working. I've got most of the trip dowloaded and edited now, and I'm going to post the relevant ones to the domestic goddess website, then the rest to a private page for friends & family. :) Ah technology is wonderful. What I think one problem with it is that it sucks the life out of the batteries to do this and the camera turns itself off, so then the computer freaks out. Pffffhhhhttt!! I have to get more batteries now! But since I have to go to the gym soon, it's okay, I'll stop and pick some up.

With Andrew gone, I do have a lot more free time that usually I fill up lying about with him. I do miss my sweet baboo an awful lot-- I'm going to see him this weekend for my birthday. Once the fall semester is over, I will fill up much of this time with my dissertation writing, but I just don't think I can do it now since I have so much other stuff, I do need some downtime.