Feministy

So here's where I get all theoretical on you. The show I'm watching just did the bit on gender-- talking about how feminists will get offended by things like being called a chick or a bitch or whatever. I remember I was on this feminist listserv a long time ago and I made a joke, off the list, to this woman about "sacraficing a virgin CD rom" to the computer gods for her computer to work. She got TOTALLY offended, and said something about virgins usually being women, and that I was really inappropriate. I mean, for god's sake-- I WAS TALKING ABOUT A COMPUTER!!!! So I said something about it being a joke, and that I thought that was one of the problems with feminism-- that it didn't have a sense of humor. And that even got me in trouble, labeled a "Bad feminist" because "that sort of thing is always used against women." I love it, when I think about it. All the things that hurt feminism are that so many of "us" fall victim to this mentality that allows others to have power over us even as we insist they shouldn't. If I get offended you calling me a bitch or a 'ho, don't I admit to you that there is something true about those words, and something true to you being superior to me? If I say "yes, ha, that's funny?" don't I potentially weaken your power over me, and take my own power over my own ability to define myself?

Last night, at the piano bar, when they were singing Margaritaville and the line "but I know, it's a woman's fault" or something like that, the piano player pointed at me. Ha! I'm sure he thought I'd get all uppity and/or deny it. I shook my head, yes, yes, I did it. Raised my hand like, "oh yeah, that was me." I think he was a tiny bit thrown. Because probably his "pat" response to that is to make fun of the woman who protests it wasn't her fault. I didn't apologize either. Yes, I did it. Thanks! Have a nice day. Then he ended the bit with a "she's accepting responsibilty for it" sort of joke. But it didn't really win HIM the points. I got them. I was the one who "stole that show" in a sense. And if I were the type to take offense at a Virgin CD Rom computer joke, I would probably think Jimmy Buffet was being a misogynistic bastard for blaming women for his missing salt shaker. Women are sometimes our own worst enemies. And even as I type that, I worry that someone somewhere is going to complain that I'm a bad feminist for saying that. Well I say bad feminists are the ones who say there are "proper" things we are allowed to say or not say.