Keep this alive

Google is deactivating accounts soon that haven't been used so I'm posting here to make sure this doesn't get deleted from not having been used.

Swans

And songs.

I have been writing this blog for several years. The initial impulse was to have someplace to go to write daily, to keep my writing mojo fresh and connecting every day, as a way of pushing myself to write my dissertation. Well, that worked variously well and sometimes not. I have written a lot of words on this blog. I've got most of them saved already, and will save the ones I haven't saved soon. I think I'll actually try to go through and print up every month's worth of posts, cause there's something about the formatting of the blog that is cool. And then, I think I'll get them bound, or something, and stick it all in a drawer. I'll be losing the comments, which have sometimes been really cool and the most wonderful part of this place.

And so you're probably reading and thinking, what could this mean? If there's anyone still reading. I get the feeling that, because of my really sporadic posting, most of my readers have left me. I know I have really stopped reading most blogs. I just don't have time. I pop in now and then to the two or three relatives that I have, and one or two other "internet buddies." But there's no way I'm going to ever have the time I once devoted to blogging again.

It's been a great outlet. I have really enjoyed writing the blog, and who knows, maybe I'll do another one sometime. I may go anonymous, because when I go out on the job market, it will probably be good to NOT have my name actually associated with the blog. Being up for hire at places that might be looking for good and bad reasons to not hire me will mean I have to be a little more incognito. Even though I never wrote anything specific about various scholarly things, the universities I worked for and go to, someone could read something and decide I was not being discreet enough.

So eventually, I will actually not be deleting this blog. I think I've removed most of the things that easily identify who I am with this blog. But I'll be quitting soon.

I've been thinking about this for days, working out while I'm falling asleep what it is I want to say as my last blog post. I rarely post. I really no longer have those moments where I think "I can't wait to blog about this." I never wanted to have a mommy blog, even though I have read some great mommy blogs and don't disparage them at all. I just don't understand why anyone else would really want to read about daily events. What is absolutely fascinating to me and mine is just bleah to others. I know this is true.

I've been amazed at how great the people who read my blog were/are. I really enjoyed the feeling of a community of writers that happened there for a while. I will (and already do) miss that. But I think I'm just done. I'm past the point where this feels like something that is worth the amount of time I even spend on it now. I know some of my family members and some of my friends keep up with what I'm doing in my life via this blog. But if you care what's up for me, you should just write me an email. I'll reply. But no more blog. It's sort of like when the phrase "bling" became something that was used by grandmas at the mall. That meant the phrase was no longer cool. So for me, blogging is pretty much blinged out.

So anyway. That's what this is, a swan song. It looks as I'm writing it like it's going to be a boring one, sort of like the Seinfeld last episode, where you just think they should have quit while they were ahead, and who wrote that last idea, and why would they make such a funny show end so poorly. And the X Files, it went on too long, too.... what was a creepy cool show turned into something I never, ever watched.

I don't want to be that blog.

So anyway. It turns out that swans are pretty mean. They're gorgeous, and swim so elegantly. But if you get too close, they're biters. And will attack you, gut you, for that packet of cookies you're holding. And they don't sing well, either. So you're glad it's the last one, when that swan starts to croon, because it aint pretty. And you start to look around for a duckling, cause it's gotta be cuter than this train wreck.

Swans?

Dive
Dive

Dive.....

Danger Girl

My daughter is just under 1 year old. Today, I bought them one of those little plastic toddler picnic tables, thinking they were maybe ready for it. The first thing she wants to do is climb right on top of the table, stand up and wave her hands in the air in victory. Sean was sitting nicely on the bench seat till the youngest ever Coyote Ugly climbed up and started doing her little dance. Then he began to think he ought to be up there, too.

It's back to the high chairs, then, where they can be strapped in with a 5 point harness. So the cute yellow & blue table has been retired till they are a little older & I can possibly reason with her to stay seated and save the gymnastics for another place, with padded walls & floor. When she does these things, I tell Andrew "that's YOUR daughter." I wasn't a daredevil but he definitely was. Sigh.

Anyone know the number for that insurance company with the duck? Do they cover babies? :)

zoo babies

We went on our first trip to the zoo today! I bought a zoo membership, and I'm very glad I did. I've been to some very sad depressing zoos, but the San Antonio one is very nice. I mean, I'm sure the animals aren't thrilled to be there, but as zoos go, this one was clean, and they seemed to do a lot to make them comfortable. They're building one of those "African habitats" where the animals will roam around uncaged.

Maia & Sean liked it. I won't say loved it, cause they're a little young yet, and they couldn't see over some of the walls from their stroller. Next time we'll bring the baby carrier slings and they'll be able to see better. Afterwards, they were super duper tired.

On the way out of the zoo, we saw a mom in the parking lot do something pretty bad, though. She had an older toddler and a younger baby, and she was trying to get them in the car. The older toddler was crabby and yelling-- probably, she didn't want to leave the zoo. So the mom walked over and very deliberately poured a large container of ice-filled water or soda or something on the little girl's head. As we walked past, I could see her crying and trying to get the liquid out of her hair, and her mother was still saying "see, you're gonna get more..." type things.

I was shocked! My friend Jenni says now that I'm going places where there are lots of parents, I'll see more examples of bad parenting like that, but geez. I mean, if you're mad that your kid is exhibiting a temper tantrum, I can think of no better way to teach her to be a bratty misbehaving kid than to be one yourself.

Anyway, altogether it's been a good day. They slept like bricks after we left the zoo. Now they're playing, and I haven't had to watch Shrek more than once today. (It's in my near future, I can tell. I'm going to try Chicken Little for variety. Maybe if I can get them hooked on another movie I won't have every single line memorized. Nah, probably that's just a pipe dream.)

Whatever Happens

We went on a road trip to Louisiana this weekend. Andrew was in an air show there; we saw parts of it, but my tolerance for wandering around on a sunny, hot flight line is limited. We had some great BBQ and mint iced tea and that's the high point.

I don't know if I've mentioned in the blog that I'm doing a digital scrapbook of the babies' first year. I'll most likely continue it past that, but it will be the whole family after this first year, not just babies. But this weekend I read a bunch of scrapbooking sample pages magazines and I have some really good ideas for spreads. My mother's day present to myself is that I'm going to play around for a day or two with JUST scrapbooking. Since my laptop has gone on the fritz, I have to work on my desktop tucked away in the office. This is a good & bad thing, both. It means I can't do an "on the fly" page while babies are sleeping at night in front of the TV. But it does mean I can go in there and be all to myself messin' around. So that'll be fun. Maybe I'll post one of my cooler layouts. When I'm totally done with the whole thing (in June, after their first birthday!) I will create a totally digital version of the whole thing. I will most likely make a link to an online version of it somewhere when that happens. It's pretty cool so far. If you're not a scrapbooker but have always wanted to be, and take mostly digital photos, if you buy this Hallmark program, it makes it really easy to do. And since we have (well, we will when it gets here) a color laser printer, I can print up the pages and they basically look like magazine pages. Then I put then in laminate sheets & bind them and it's very cool.

As far as mother's day presents go, I got a rose yesterday from the people at the Whataburger where we stopped to get a lame, cold burger (usually Whataburger is much better. Too bad!) But the rose is pretty; the babies were intrigued by it on the road trip. I thought about buying myself something while out dawdling, waiting for Andrew to be done with his air show, but I decided against the items I was lusting over. (Some garnet jewelry... maybe it'll be a later purchase).

So I still don't have a Mother's Day gift for me. I do need to get something, since I think it's an important thing to have. Something cool, something distinctive. Not just candy & flowers.

I know my blog has pretty much turned into a boring everyday log of my things where it used to be cool, insightful posts & creative things. Maybe one day it will be that again. :) I appreciate those of you who aren't actually related to me who still hang out here, although I can't imagine why you want to. :)

Now to play with my croupy baby and the other one. :)

Ha Ha

Today I'm putting final touches on the copies of my dissertation that will go, tomorrow, via snail mail, to my committee. I have re-inserted the graphics after last week's crash & loss (was it just a week or is it two? I can't remember). It's now, with edits & most of the bibliography added, a total of 213 pages. Cool. It looks very spiffy & big and fancy sitting here on my bar countertop. I plan to take it to the Office Max (or is it a Depot? whatever) to get it spiral bound for my committee's convenience at reading later today. I've got two copies ready, and need two more. My printer is on the verge-- it needs new black ink & a new drum kit. Andrew is planning on getting a new one-- we have a several years old laser color printer which is outdated & falling apart, so buying a new updated one will work better than fixing up the old. But that means I'm hoping that there's enough in it right now to print up the copies I need today so I don't have to put any money in a printer we're getting rid of.

Anyway. That's what we're doing today.

Everyone is back to fairly normal health, although Sean has a lingering head cold that keeps him up at night and has given him a few fevers... but it's minor compared to other things.

I still haven't gotten my mother's day gift. I know it's early, but my hubby prefers to have me weigh in on what I want, and I didn't find anything yesterday. I demand a present this time. I usually don't go in for the "hallmark holidays" but I want something this time. We'll see what it ends up being.