PLEASE GOD MAKE HIM STOP!!!

I went to lunch with Andrew's dad and some other folks. We went to the Luby's at the mall (a cafeteria style place). There was this horrible horrible new edition to this Luby's-- this old man who played a portable electronic keyboard and sang. He had dozens of hats, and would put on one of the hats as apparently appropriate to the song he was currently singing. I say apparently because the songs were SO bad and SO out of tune and SO TERRIBLE HERE COMES THE APOCALYPSE like that the only tune I could make out was the one that I think is about the war of 1812.. (fired our guns and they came a runnin')...... he wore this floppy "cowboy" hat for that-- although if it was the war I'm thinking about, a cowboy hat wouldn't fit. Still. So when apparently part of the song there would be gunshots, he banged loudly on the table. Over and over again. I began thinking wistfully of real gunshots, which would allow me to run screaming from the restaurant like I wanted to without embarassing the poor old guy, who clearly was trying to make a living in some way. And he began to notice, after a while, that people were trying desperately to talk over him, so he got louder.

Honestly, I don't really even play the piano and by banging randomly on keys and howling out songs, I could have done better.

He had a large jar of "tips" with a lot of money in it. I think people were paying him to stop, only they didn't have the heart to tell him "please stop." It's like a terrible car crash-- you really just want to avoid talking or thinking about it, but it is there and horrible and you're stuck right next to it trying to eat your Salmon patty and corn and salad as fast as possible.

But at least it makes for a good blog entry. I kept thinking: I must record this. But really, I can't possibly convey how awful it was.