Relationship "Issues" Part Two

Back in April, before I had the babies, I weighed in on an article/guest on the Oprah show. Ayelet Waldman had written an article about how she was "in love" with her husband and not her kids, and caught a lot of flack on Oprah about this. I argued, then, that I agreed with her, that it was important to love your children but to reserve the first place in your heart for your spouse. I am "in love" with my husband. I am also "in love" (and madly so) with these two little people who have come into our lives so miraculously. I haven't changed my mind, and I still basically agree with her, but my opinions (as I figured they would even when I wrote the initial blog post) have revised somewhat.

I still agree with her on that, for the most part. But I can definitely see now how much more complicated relationships become after babies. Andrew & I have been married and together for over 15 years now. I cannot imagine thinking any more highly of a person than I do him-- I love him like I love breathing. It's just as essential a part of me to be with him as it is to need food, or air. And I mean that, even when I get annoyed because he gets to sleep more than I do right now, and he has the luxury, when I'm up and feeding babies, of turning the baby monitor OFF. (the Bastard.) :)

I know a few couples whose marriage has tanked after having babies. Andrew argues that the marriage probably wasn't good before that, that the babies simply magnified the problems that were already there. That I also agree with. But even with our fabulous marriage, the one that friends say makes them want to vomit sometimes cause we seem so perfect, there are STRAINS. Like said "turning off the baby monitor". Or me being so freakin' emotional that I turn into super sensitive chick at the drop of a hat. I know he's been trying, walking on eggshells to keep from making me crazy. And I've been trying to not be pissed because he gets to sleep while I'm awake. Logically, there is no reason for us to both be up at 3 am; and since he also has to work a full time job (really, two of them right now with his military duties) he is working just as hard as I am.

So the theory that Waldeman puts out, "that you should your ardent attention to your husband, and not focus on your children as the "suns" in your universe" (I'm quoting myself, a summary of her words) is still correct, in my book, but so hard to do! These little lives we create, with their perfect little toes, and the trust and need and joy in their little eyes, are very hard to not focus on. When Andrew & I are each holding one baby, eating a bowl of ice cream, watching a good-bad movie (this week it was Reign of Fire-- entertaining, but not good) and the sum of our "grown-up touch" is basically legs wrapped around each other's, I can see how, for a while, there is a new "sun" in town. (Two of them). But like an exotic galaxy on Star Trek, there are three suns in my galaxy and while that means I don't get as much nice, dark, quiet moonlit sleep as I used to, I'm good with that for a while.

I'm content with a quiet snuggle while the babies sleep, with our romantic music being the snarfle of a baby wiggling in the crib, and the hubby going to get me cake donuts & a half-caff latte. That is, right now, the best ever kind of foreplay for our life.

Like Weeds

Maia & Sean got weighed today as part of a breastfeeding support group thingy. They are growing so well! When born, Maia was 6'4" and now she's 9'1". Sean, at birth, was 7'7" and is now 10'5". That's a gain of 3 pounds each over their birth weight, and they lost a bit after being born (all babies do). So they've gained about a pound a week, which is great, considering the doctors look for them to gain between 4 and 8 oz. Little weeds. :) My little loveys. But it goes to show you what I've been spending all my time doing!

Miracle of miracles, the first of the two baby swings we ordered came in last night. We got it assembled after a brief battle of wills with Andrew over who got to put it together (we both tried; I put parts on wrong and he held screaming babies-- everything went much more smoothly when we swapped). I tell you it is a Godsend.

Already.

Why? I am having to feed the babies one at a time right now cause I have an "overactive letdown." It's a blessing to have so much milk when I have two babies, but it's also a curse-- they choke, sputter, refuse to nurse, cry, get enraged red faces, are very gassy. It's the cause of all the problems that I've had this far, actually.

So they think I'm trying to drown them, poor little things. One of the solutions is to lie down while feeding them, which I can't do while holding both babies. So thank God we have the swing cause one baby is content to sit in there before or after being fed and I can actually move out of the rocking chair I've had my ass planted firmly in for the last two weeks with an ocassional move to go to the bathroom. (During which time both babies often were crankily yelling from their crib). I don't belive that the swings are anywhere near a substitute for them being held-- they will certainly be held a lot too. But when you have two, you so have to have something that gives you a moment of time to step away from them and shower, or eat, or do something other than hold the babies.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel which I can neither confirm nor deny is a train. Preliminary reports from the scene are speculating that it may not be a train. More as details come in. :)

One Month!

Today is Maia & Sean's One month Birthday!! Woo hoo! We're having steak, sweet potatoes (just baked-- no goo on them, just a little butter) and broccoli & bread & then ice cream as a celebratory dinner. :) Later, we also plan to mash their little hands and feet into one of those memory clay things you can buy to commemorate their tiny feet & hands sizes.

It's been a helluva ride so far. They're both flashing us their very first "social smiles" the last day or so. You know, when babies are tiny, the little smiles you see are mostly just contentment after eating, or practice. But then, after a while, they can see, and they work out smiling. It goes straight to their little eyes, and their whole face smiles. So far, in this, Sean is a little bit ahead of his sister--he's a bit more smiley overall, and better at the responding to Mommy's smile bit.

We also went to the grocery store today, and they were fawned over by grandmotherly types all over the place. It was fun; they'd been feeling a little neglected since no one new had told them how cute they were in a while.

Now, to look up some info and help Andrew cook the broccoli. Broccoli!!!!!

Growth Spurt Over?

Ah. Today, the twins have actually napped for the entire three hours between feedings this morning. This is the first time in like two weeks. It's possible their little growth spurt feeding frenzy, where they wanted to eat every 1.5 to 2 hours, may be at its end and mommy will be able to do something other than hold and/or feed babies.

But I still sat and held little Maia while she slept and I watched the space shuttle take off (which was way cool, man-- that camera they had mounted on the fuel tank so you could see the takeoff from the shuttle perspective!? wow! I was teary-eyed.... but that's pretty common nowadays). They are sooooo adorable when they're asleep. This is such precious time; when they're this little and they want me to hold them all the time. It won't be long till they're teenagers, slamming doors and saying what an evil beeyatch I am for not letting them pierce their tongues. Our solution to that will be that anything they get pierced, Daddy's going to get pierced too. A Prince Albert is not so cool when your dad has one too. Mwah hahahahahahahahaha. :)

Anyways. That's the news. The weather is miserable, but I haven't gone outside much. But I can drive again-- I'm off the post C-section restriction and that's fabulous. Free at last free at last Thank God Almighty. Not that I really want to go anywhere right now... it's too complicated until we get the babies' stroller thingy in the mail. Also, my carpal tunnel problems are getting less bad... it's not all better yet, but getting there. Happy!

Scent Memory

For reasons I won't go into here, I have major issues with smelling bad-- so if I don't get to have a shower, it really sucks and I just have "issues" you might not believe. But then when I do shower, and I wash my hair, I use those fruit scented shampoos. I have never really noticed a difference in the expensive shampoos that they say make your hair better and the cheap things that smell like peaches, or coconut. So I say, use the cheap stuff... So today, hair was washed with peach & coconut shampoo & conditioner, and it smells divine. Like a tropical drink with an umbrella in it, and lying on the beach in the sun.

I dated a guy once who was enthralled with the way I smelled. He would always comment on it, and wouldn't believe it was simply a matter of buying the right hair care products.

Anyway. Just a thought...and a nice morning with quiet, sleeping babies and a few minutes with my own head, and a book to read, and helpful company coming by later today.

My laptop is still on the fritz a bit. In an unfortunate scare (I thought I had gotten water on it), I tried to blot the keyboard, thereby jamming several keys. It is hugely annoying. I must take it to a qualified repair technician. Bleargh! That, even more than babies' demands on my time, is why I haven't posted much lately.

Naptime? Maybe But when I even think the word, it usually causes my psychic infants to wake up and demand attention. So we'll see.

Post-partum Baby Blues

Let me tell you, the "Baby Blues" don't come easy. Andrew is out of town this weekend, and I thought, being superwoman, that I was not going to need any help. But the babies are in a "hold me all day" phase, and I was getting a little bit tired and frustrated at about six last night. I didn't get a shower yesterday (not that big of a deal) or a nap (a bigger deal). Talking to Andrew on the phone, I was for some reason really reluctant to call for help. Andrew's mom is there to help-- but I just didn't want to ask. I don't know why-- don't ask me to be logical here.

I finally called her, and she came and held one baby while I held the other. Sean had another little Puking incident that would have been scary if I had been alone.

But we settled them down and they were fine the rest of the night and I slept and have showered and am waiting for them to wake up for the noon feeding.

I asked for help from friends tonight-- it's fun, really, but I need another human other than the babies to be here with me for company. You get a little crazy being all alone sometimes.

But I had a taste of what women who go nuts doing this must feel. I am so grateful that I am an older mom, with lots of patience, and with people/family to help me.

Anyway, gotta go... someone's demanding attention. :)

Don't worry, don't think I've lost it-- I haven't. I wouldn't be writing about it if I were. But I do know why some people do lose it sometimes.

Londoners & Terrorists

This AM, there's news that there have been some "incidents" in London's transit system. So far, and hopefully, it's just smoke & a few closed tube lines. But it got me to thinking of when I was in London a few years ago and was so proud of myself for mastering the Tube lines, figuring out where I was going & how to do it really fast, especially considering I never lived in a city in the states with a similar system. The Tube was/is so efficient, and such a great way to get around a city like London. Two weeks ago, when the terror incidents occurred, I was in the midst of the craziest part of this mommy thing. We would probably have not even known about it if we hadn't have had to go to the hospital to get the babies' birth certificate data filled out (an omission from our leaving the hospital... they didn't tell me I still had to do that!!) We were existing in a vacuum of no TV or even radio for a while there. It was pretty weird to know that there was this huge incident and I really didn't know much about it because I was busy elsewhere.

But I think that the terrorist types are barking up the wrong tree with this kind of thing in London. The English, and most folks who live in Great Britain, are not going to tip over and freak out, cowering in the dark, because you wave a bit of TNT their way. They will mourn the losses, and then get out there and kick your asses. A lot of folks discussed how the British acted during the WW2 Blitz-- just keep going. Stoic. In fact, for the most part, you just strengthen their resolve and make them want to kick your asses even more. Other countries might give in, panic, react the way you want them to react. But England (and I like to think the U.S. falls in here too) will just keep going on, and I'm sure it's inconvenient as hell, and throws a wrench into so many commuters' day to have four Tube lines closed, but they're going to do just fine.

Finally, to add a lighter note to this, Neil Gaiman's book Neverwhere, which I recommend highly if you like "urban fantasy," has this bit about "Minding the Gap" that had I read that book before my adventures in London, would have had Londoners thinking I was a nut-job, cause every time I heard the "Mind the Gap" recording, I would have been giggling uncontrollably. It makes me laugh right now, just thinking about it. You've got to read that book if you're going to London, and/or live there and/or have ever been there. It'll kill ya. :)

Been to the Hotel California Lately?

Sean likes to be sung to sleep. Maia likes it too, but she doesn't really need it-- she'll sprawl happily sleeping in the crib as soon as she's fed. But Sean needs a little extra cuddling, and a song or two. I'm not a great singer, but I can make a baby happy.

His favorite song is Hotel California. I have sung it a dozen times in the last few days. Fortunately, I like it-- it has memories for me of high school, coming home on the school bus from band events-- football games, etc-- in the middle of the night-- the band geeks we were would often start singing, and this song was one of our favorites (that and Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue? Or was it Poison? One of those hair bands from the 80s.)

I had a student in English Comp once write a literary interp of Hotel California where he argued that it was chock full o' drug references. The "Calitas" at the beginning of the song being supposedly pot, and the "steely knives stabbing" was a cocaine reference. I'm not sure. I waver between interpreting it as about drugs, and a "California lifestyle" of mythos, and about literally a scary chick who had "a lot of pretty pretty boys." I once saw a story that interpreted it as about vampires. That is probably my favorite interpretation. (See, it's an English major secret-- there are really no wrong answers, just better ones. And if you can support the claim, you can make it.) My favorite line "How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat, some dance to remember, some dance to forget." I also like "her mind is Tiffany twisted". Nice writing. Evocative.

What do you think the song means? Are there other songs like this one that you think are thinly veiled drug songs? Or just you never "got?"

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I'm hoping to write more frequently, and less about "just baby things," soon.-- with the update here at the end for those who actually want the personal details. Yesterday I spent a day actually READING A BOOK. Granted, the babies were perched on their twin boppy pillow and sleeping on me, and my tailbone eventually was killing me from sitting still for so long. They've been a teeny bit colic-y and don't like to be put down. Which I don't really mind that much, especially since they seem to settle down about midnight for their three bunches of three ho ur sleeps.

But I had time to actually do something other than nap, or feed babies, or waddle around the house looking for my Percocet (which I don't need anymore.) And for those who were paying attention, no, my nipples are no longer sore. You can't use that one and blame it on me. :) It gets much cooler, this breastfeeding thing, at about the end of week three. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. Even an un-interrupted five hour nap in a cool hammock with a frozen margarita that never melts, and is never empty. Seriously. :)

Tiny Baby Steps

Each day, I get a little bit better at this, not so much because I'm improving but because you just learn, no matter what. This week was our 2 week well baby appt. TWO WEEKS!! I can't believe it's been that long already. Both babies are doing well-- fatter & happy. The doctor (who wasn't younger than me but damned close) explained all the little things that have been worrying me. He also told me about a magical elixer that made last night one of the first that we've slept well in those 2.5 hour spurts in a week since Sean's first puking episodes. Dimethylicone-- Mylecon is a brand name of it-- or, as you might guess-- ANTI- GAS drops!!! I am amazed that none of the doctors &/or nurses I have already spoken to mentioned these things. I even already had some in my baby pantry from having seen them on a shopping spree & thinking "hey, these will come in handy!" These babies, because I am a milk producing cow who had the lactation consultant literally making that worshipping-we're-not-worthy gesture at me. Cool. :)

But now, did you know that babies have a "growth spurt" about now? Which means that they go from eating every three hours to wanting to eat every two, or sometimes every one, hour? And when they're not eating, they are demanding to be held. I don't mind, except when I really really really need to get up to pee and the babies make that groany "aw, don't move us" noise. Little anchors, that's what they are.

Whew. Craziness. But all good. Just leaves me with not much time to blog, or anything remotely related to computers. How do working moms do this? Jeez.

The Dangers of Over-Educating Oneself

I think I may read too much. I've studied all the baby books, the "what to expect" books, and others. So now, whenever any little tiny thing happens to one of the babies, I overanalyze and worry and fret. A little puke with some mucus? What could that be? How about if you drink a glass of wine with dinner? How dangerous is that? What about if you drink a cup of latte for breakfast-- can it affect your babies? Each book says something about these issues, and sometimes they contradict each other and/or your doctor and/or common knowledge.

And then there are the parents-- yours, mine, the other ones out there. Who say "this is what we did, don't worry about doing XYZ". Some of that advice is great. Helpful. Welcome. Some of it just freaks me out more.

Did I ever mention that I have a tendency to be a bit of a hypochondriac? This tendency is only worse with two babies to care for. I'm having a hoot load of fun here. (not) Worry, worry, worry. I am the stereotype of the first-time mom, stressing over every little thing.

Just keep me out of the Web MD or American Baby website please.

Elf Ear

Maia has one pointy little elf ear. I must must must get a photo of it to share with you guys, and for posterity's sake, as well. I imagine it will "regularize" after she gets a little older. I had a sister, born before me, who died of SIDS. She, my mom always used to say, had pointy little "Vulcan" ears. Maia almost got her name (Margaret) as a middle name-- but we decided on Ann since that's my middle name. Someone said to me "maybe that's her Aunt who is an angel's way of blessing her." Of course, that made me cry (but everything does nowadays) so it's terribly sweet.

I have laughed over her little ear and told her she must be a fairy princess changeling. She certainly has her princess tendencies already.

Today, we go for the first REAL bath. They've had spongebaths, of course, but the cords are finally off (cordless/wireless is the way to go baby!!) and now they get real water. I'll try to post pictures, but there are no promises, as you well know. :)

Big doings. Controlled chaos, as Robotnik calls it. Yup. That is definitely the word for it. Now, to try to scarf a little breakfast before their 11:30 breakfast time.

The Hood= All Good

But tired, busy, etc. Sean's vomiting seems to have passed. They're happy, although someone is complaining right now that the service in this hotel sucks. Gotta go. :)

Lots of Fun /sarcasm

Last night was one of those fun moments of parenthood, already. Sean developed a tendency to act like Linda Blair in the Exorcist-- projectile vomiting. This is something that, if they do it three times in a 24 hour period wins them a trip to the ER. And Daddy is out of town this weekend on AF Reserve duty. Thankfully, Aaron & Nissa were over (although they may be re-evaluating their own parenting plans now) and drove me to the 2am visit to every parent's nightmare. The projectile vomiting can be a sign of a tummy blockage-- which would require surgery to fix. It can also just be a sign of an upset tummy, but they have to be ultra careful.

Luckily, after a couple of hours of observation, they let us go home. This is not the "out of the woods" one might expect, however. I had to then feed Sean in small increments, every hour for eight more hours. Tired already, I was definitely challenged.

But he seems to be doing fine now & I'm on my way to a nap. I'll never look at a 3 hour feeding schedule again and complain!! It's certainly all relative.

And my laptop is still acting up.... several of the keys either stick or don't work at all (including the backspace key-- very important key, that). I'm thinking a trip to a repair shop is in poor little Pele's future (the laptop is named Pele... in case that wasn't obvious.)

boobs

todays topic...discuss.

also--my laptop is acting up. broccolllllliiiiiiiii!!!!!!

Kept

Last night while doing the normal couch activities, we briefly landed on the TV reality series "Kept"* where Geri Hall (formerly wife of Mick Jagger) is "auditioning" men to be her "kept man". It's part The Apprentice, part Joe Millionaire, part something else entirely (America's Next Top Model meets Zoolander perhaps?) It's entertaining to watch these gorgeous men, some of whom are not very bright, compete for the top spot. They are also (many of them) jerks. So we, the viewing audience, are supposed to sort of get off on loathing them for who they are.

I noticed the similarities to Joe Millionaire (if you didn't watch the show you might not get the comparison) Andrew noticed that the amount of money they are estimating Geri Hall having (50 million dollars) is the same that the Joe Millionaire guy was supposed to have inherited. I think that's interesting. Where the guy could be appealing even if he didn't have the money, a woman, even as hot a woman as Geri Hall, has to REALLY be rich to pull off something like this. Right? And it's certainly more obvious on the show what the contestants are really auditioning for. On Joe, the scene where the one blonde chippy most likely gave Joe "oral pleasure" hinted at the prostituting yourself for money angle, but Kept comes right out and says it in its show title.

So am I reading a double standard in where there is actually none? I think there's something significant we could learn about power and gender here. When the Donald interviews people, it's to be his business flunky. A powerful woman? She's "firing" potential "kept men"-- which, seriously folks, is a giggolo. What do you think? I'd be interested to know if I'm being hormonal here.
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Ah, yes. And I managed this morning to post a blog entry! WOooooo! The twins had a lovely morning of being up for about four hours, starting at midnight. Cute little angelic beasts. So right now I am letting them sleep late in the hopes of getting them to eat at a good time for me to drag them out to a truck stop for lunch (the best chicken fried steak ever!)

Just remember me-- when you wake up in the middle of the night, roll over, perhaps get up to grab a glass of water and take a pee-- I am probably up, babies attached like adorable blue-eyed (for now) leeches, and a serious case of the nods.

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*Here is where I would normally search out clever little links so that you could see the show and any obscure references on your own. But dudes. I'm workin' here to get a post at all that's not about sore nipples, so you'll just have to google these things if you need more.

Taking a Break

Okay guys. I just don't know if I can do this at all for a few weeks. I have seriously bad pregnancy-related carpal tunnel, making typing with fingers both numb and tingly at the same time very weird, and I have very little free time that shouldn't really be spent napping.

I just sat down and wrote about three sentences of a blog post I've been considering about writing and the difference between women & men and how pregnancy & motherhood possibly compromised the time we have to spend in such a solitary, somewhat narcissistic behavior--very scholarly it was going to be--you would have loved it! :) and the carpal tunnel wrist brace on my left hand (I took the right one off) somehow managed to highlight and then quickly delete the entire paragraph I had just written. Way before I had gotten to the periodic "copy to clipboard and save" phase of the work.

Add that to a day where my father-in-law pissed me off to the point that I understood Oedipus' patricide, a computer document that for about ten minutes decided to display in such a way that it made an entire page of my need it now document disappear and me to consider all that work needing to be redone-- NOW-- and you get me staring at a computer that I am not fond of right now. So I think that there will be not much blogging for a while. I'm giving myself permission to not feel bad about it, and I hope that those of you who lurk, who have been with me for a while, don't give up on me during this time. I really enjoy blogging, all the social interaction it includes, and I like seeing the people who show up here all the time being HERE. This may, of course, change tomorrow. But maybe not. I have a lot to say, still-- I wanted to write about the fourth of July losing its meaning (which I claim is defiance, not rednecks and beer coolers & the famous frequently quoted Dazed & Confused bit about taxes). I had other topics boiling around. But right now, I need to go eat some ice cream and relax before the onset of night time, when the babies suddenly get much more awake than they were all day and mommy gets sleepier. Darn little night owls.

I'm still reading your blogs. Every morning at the 2 am ish feeding, I scroll with my right hand through the links in blogroll to read what you guys've got for me. Since left hand is busy holding babies, I don't make comments unless I can do it later, but I'm still reading.

Don't you guys give up on me yet. I was going to ask a couple of people if they'd like to guest blog, but usually when I'm into a blog, I don't really want to read some other writers' guest blogging. I am there for the original author's unique perspective, not just to read. But maybe my guest blogger Nissa would enjoy it... I know you guys gave her heck about the "red carpet" analogy (I get both sides on that one, actually) so maybe she's gunshy... but she did a great job.

Anyway. The complaint about losing the post has now led to a longer post than I intended, so I might as well just go eat my ice cream. :)

In the words of Ah-nold, I'll be back. (maybe soon, maybe later.)

WKAW: Radio Free Kim @ Your Internet

Johnny, hearing all the sirens: It's the phone company. They know what I did here today.
Venus: What are you talking about?
Johnny: They're coming to get me, man!
Venus: That's paranoia, man!
Johnny: Wake up, sucker, this is the phone company we're talking about! They see everything, they know everything, they got their own covert police force! I'm probably wired
for sound right now! I gotta get out of here!
Venus: Johnny!
Johnny: Don't use my name!! . . . Johnny, running past: You didn't see me, you didn't see me! Everyone runs after him. They find him in the bullpen trying to hide behind the sofa.
Johnny: Hide me, hide me! Travis, I'll play the Carpenters, I'll play Barry Manilow, just hide me!!
From WKRP in Cincinnati, Episode "An Explosive Affair" (2 parts)

I'm listening to my personal radio station on Yahoo's "Launch" a lot this last week...the laptop is next to where I sit nursing the babies, & I have it playing "my station"-- which I've had free, & been editing for several years. It's not completely my stuff-- since I get the free version, the Launchcast folks add "suggestions" to my own "rated" music. But for the most part, it's pretty good. I like it better than making a CD mix, or the things that you put on your own computer or CD cause it IS random and does add new stuff, things you haven't heard before, so it's more fresh. I get tired of the same mix, even if it was my favorite ever a week ago, so I like this thingy. The free version does have an occasional commercial-- but they're far less obnoxious than anywhere I've seen (including NPR!)

Anyway. This isn't meant to be an ad for these folks, but to say if you stop by, you can even play my personal station! Maybe hearing the diversity in my music tastes will be fun for completely random moments of voyeurism. :)

(Can you tell I have it more together today? Both babies have just been fed-- "double fisted" (as they say) and now I have a whole other three hours ahead of me before they have to eat again! Nap? Read? What to do,what to do!!

Although I know someone will say I have terrible taste in music (buncha music snobs) I would like to invite you to pop in sometime. Me & Dr. Johnny Fever of WKRP fame will be hanging out here, paranoid that the phone police are coming any minute now. (Trailing the Library Police, who have a lot more to be mad at me about than the Phone cops do!)

I'm no Madonna* but...

So this is what we've been doing all week. Not that I looked that put together for most of it, and I don't always have two babies in full snuggle but we're working on giving the Pieta a run for its money on looking like what motherhood means.

Obviously, Maia (who after all her hard work to stay in position of born first was successful) is the one in pink & Sean in blue.

Still keepin' on...

*As in the virgin Mother--not the Material girl.

Songs

In spite of my best intentions, I didn't create that perfect CD mix for the delivery of the babies. I didn't care much because I had been told we couldn't listen to music anyway. But the head anesthesiologist, who was there to supervise, brought in a boom box & we had the radio... a dubious improvement.

BUT what happened was so great in the long run. Minus the choice, fate stepped in to pick my little angels' "THEME SONGS."

Just as we could tell Maia would be appearing soon, from the bustle and conversations in the room, and causing me to pretty much weep was a song that has always been a favorite of mine... Billy Joel's "She's Always a Woman." Since it took 3 min to get Sean out, a new song came on-- "Take It Easy" by the Eagles. So far, both songs seem somewhat appropriate to personalities.

This post gets the official "longest it's ever taken me to write a post" title...as is obvious, we're pretty busy & I'm typing this one handed on the breast feeding pillow's free half.

Everything is good. There have been "moments"-- good & bad. The good far outweighs the other.

Harry 4th o' July to all!

More Photos

So I had time to putter on the laptop while feeding Sean this morning at 3 am. You know you're a geek when you have your baby breastfeeding on one side and your laptop perched precariously on one knee on the other side.

Here is a link to go to the photoshare gallery in case you want to see more of the "birthday" photos, including a few more of me looking like Hell than I really mean to ever have on a blog (I hope I don't end up on one of those "fat chicks" sites-- HEY I was pregnant; not fat!)

Thanks so much for all the emails, comments, etc, that were waiting for me today when I even got a half a second to even think about email & the internet in a way that meant it was a possible way to spend a moment of time.

Yesterday was a day of breakthroughs. Sean & I came to an understanding about his breastfeeding. He likes the football hold, and he's fond of the left boob over the right. Once I figured this out, we've had a dozen great sessions. I know now that when he's feeding well, he squeeks every time he breathes. (This Maia does not do, except once, and it sounded like it was in answer to his squeeks. Twins. Freaky stuff).

Today, we've got our act together!! This is the first full day Andrew hasn't had to go to work for a little while, and we're hanging out in our front room as a family. I am amazed that it actually has only taken this long to get to where I am right now with them. Andrew & I got to sleep much of last night; the babies are happy & hanging out on a pillow next to me, sleeping. They had their first outing, etc, etc. The house is a bit of a mess but so what? I am having people come by Sunday to meet the babies, so someone'll have to clean up something, but it's fine for now.

What's funny is this: after a C-section, having a person literally poking me in the spine several times (it was scarier than it was painful-- the thought of what he was doing freaked me out a bit) the worst pain I am having right now is my tailbone. From sitting up in a hospital bed for three days, my butt got bruised & now, sitting even on a comfy surface like this couch hurts my poor tailbone. Ha ha so (not) funny. :)

So I'll try to keep up with the blog and maybe even (gasp) write something sometimes about something other than my gorgeous babies (although who would want to talk about anything else?). Goodness knows that while I'm feeding the babies, I am immobilized on the couch for a while, and since I have a laptop, I can do a lot of things. Multi-tasking. It's the new black.

My New Laptops!

There are so many things I could write about this morning, as my daughter nurses and Andrew & Sean sleep. The perfection of a round hair glazed with peach fuzz hair which will be some shade of red/auburn. The joy and pleasure of being able to care for a being so tiny yet so perfect.... being so tired my eyes cross as I type this, and me not having had a full night's sleep all week.

I will write about these things, I promise. But I'm really here, groggy, ready to go back to bed now that Maia is done nursing, sleeping herself, to do one task alone. Load pictures. Got it. Later today, once they are done loading, will be a linkn to the online photo gallery of all of the birthday pictures. But here are a very few of the highlights.