Commando: The Sequel

When I typed in the title, my "autofill" told me I had already written a post titled Commando. It was pretty funny, actually, so if you don't remember it either, check it out. :)

But I wanted to write about why I don't ever like to go Commando. Aside from comfort issues, I think it has to do with something that happened when I was about five years old.

I had stolen my mom's big circle style skirt. The navy blue one with cute little white polka dots. And it twirled in a big spinny circle when I would turn around, a little dervish with a red stringy haircut. I liked the way it felt for skirt to go flying; it was pretty, and I felt all grown up.

I don't remember exactly why I took my white cottony panties off* that day but I suspect it had something to do with a five year old's incomplete bladder control. I do remember stepping out of them and leaving them on the floor.

But my panty-less state did not stop me from spinning in mom's fancy skirt.

Apparently, I did it once too often while playing with the girls from down the street. (Even then, I usually played with boys... my best friend Robbie wasn't home for some reason so I had to hang out with the mean girls who had a big white dollhouse and played tea party too often for my taste.)

The girls must have spotted my panty less unmentionables during one of my spins. I didn't realize that the skirt went up that high on my little whirligigs. So they told me to show them my skirt again, and I happily complied. I didn't notice till afterwards the vicious, little-girls-about-to-be-mean smiles on their faces. (A look I came to know very well.) In retrospect, I even remembered seeing them whispering to each other, planning their coup-de-skirt.

Halfway mid-spin, one little girl grabbed the edges of the twirlying skirt and flipped it up so that it definitely went up over my head, purposely flashing everyone there. I knew then that everyone had seen my naked bottom, so I was mortified. They laughed with that special little girl laugh that has been patented for centuries by the minions of lower regions of Hell as a torture device .

I ran home, never wore mom's skirt again.

And I still hate going commando, being pretty sure that someone will know, and judge me for it.

*I can only imagine the freaks who will now be drawn into my blog googling these phrases. Hey there sexual deviants!! Please leave now, and go get some therapy. It's not normal to google that particular combo of words, looking for anything other than a coming-of-age story.