Ugh 2

Funny how I've titled a blog post in the past Ugh. But today is an Ugh. I feel kind of weird & out of sorts.

This morning, I got all excited about a new direction for my Buffy dissertation chapter which seemed to simplify the work & yet make it into a direction that would allow me to really have a critical, theoretical base. I went to the library, worked on this idea, and was driving home when I thought "crap. It doesn't go with the rest of the dissertation chapters." It doesn't. Really. I can make it work, but it's very discouraging. I'm really sick of the damned thing.

And I wrote to my dissertation committee more than a week ago and I have only heard back from 1 out of 3 of them.* I just think that at least 40% of my inability to finish it this far is because they don't help. Sigh. I have a goal of having a draft done by April in order to be done with my deadline of September. But today, it feels un-do-able. Discouraging.

Tomorrow, I hope it will feel better. We all have these kinds of days, I know. I'm also sure that the feeling of just not even caring whether I finish or not anymore is part of what everyone goes through (or at least those of us who take a long time.) But I really don't care anymore. I will finish it anyway. But I don't care.

*I re-wrote to the one who OUGHT to have replied by now in the hopes that my email had just gotten lost. I hope she replies this time or I'll feel even worse.