Flappers in Cars

Polly has a story on her blog that made me think of this, so props to her blog. Go read it; she's a hoot.

When I was 18-ish, I lived for a while in the Chicago area with my Grandma. I got myself a job at the local mall (shoe store! where the male manager used to try on ladies' shoes in the back room with his skinny, hairy guy feet wedged into size 12 women's pumps). One night, on the way home from work, with snow in the parking lots and my heaviest coat on, I had to stop at a convenience store (probably to buy cigarettes for my mom... the bane of my young existence was that particular chore).

As I entered the 7-11, a young cop was laughing with the store clerk. As I stood behind the line, we were treated to this story.

Earlier that evening, while on patrol in his cop car, he spotted a big old gas guzzler weaving and swerving on the road. Since there was a lot of snow, and this was a decidedly dangerous situation, he pulled the car over.

As he came to the window, he found two very old ladies, the kind with those little circles of lipstick on their cheeks in lieu of real blush, that they never blend, and that stand out like bindis on the head of brahmans on the ladies' crepe-y pale skin. They were surrounded in the front seat by dozens (literally) of empty beer cans, and a fresh six-pack in the middle. The car smelled of beer.

The driver said to the cop "This is my girlfriend who I haven't seen in forty years, and we're having a good time, so whatareya gonna do about it, Copper?!"

He laughed.

He respectfully offered to escort them home. No ticket, no arrest, just a funny story on a snowy night in the 7-11.

These old ladies were probably flappers once, binding their boobs and drinking "hooch" and participating in the first sexual revolution (which most people don't realize happened in the 20s... it did!) Dorothy Parker driving down the road flipping people off.

Screw wearing red hats.... I wanna be a dirty old woman, pinching young asses in elevators & drinking vodka martinis and driving my big old Cadillac poorly. And then flipping off the chippy in the car next to me when I cut her off. :) Sorry PPP--it's inevitable. We begin to care much less about the way things ought to be as we age. And then we just wanna have fun.

So what ARE you gonna do about it, Copper?