Mama Bear

Have you ever seen a nature program where an angry Mama Bear faced off a much bigger bear, perhaps to protect her cubs? The male bear will look sort of sheepish, and back off slowly while the Mama Bear rages at him, ready to rip him to shreds?

I just had my first real experience of feeling really like that.

On the way home from buying my Chinese Food dinner (mmmm Orange Peel Beef) this idiot in an SUV inspired me to want to literally go all Mama Bear on his (or her) ass.

In Texas we have these roads called "access roads." They're small single lane roads beside the freeway that allow "access" to the stores or whatever on the side, so you don't have to actually exit the freeway right into the places beside the road. There's a shopping center near my house and it has an access point just past the freeway offramp. This asshole in the SUV apparently did not realize that they could keep driving like a normal human being and get to the access a few 100 feet down the road for their shopping needs. So he/she decided to come to a complete Motherfucking stop right IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EXIT RAMP. Then he/she saw me coming, exiting at a high rate of speed (cause that's what an offramp is for-- you slow down ON the ramp, not on the freeway) and wiggled their vehicle just barely over out of my way. I thought maybe they had broken down, and couldn't move the SUV out of the way. I honked the horn and missed them fine, but I was enraged when I saw them angle their vehicle at an extreme angle so they could get into the shopping access just inches past the ramp instead of driving the few feet past the ramp to the other entrance, clearly visible as cars were turning into it. They were stopping, risking a high speed impact which not only would have spilled my Chinese food but undoubtedly have caused major damage to my car, and possibly even myself, as well as their idiot selves, so that they could go shopping. Freakin' morons. I could have perhaps not been so enraged if it had been an actual incident where their vehicle was disabled. Things happen.

But...

When I saw that they were turning into the shopping center I really really wanted to turn my car around into the shopping center and go find them and kick their asses. They endangered the lives of my two twins and myself because they were idiots who don't freakin' know how to drive. MORONS!!!!!!!!! Logic would not at all say that the developers would plan for said eventuality and perhaps have more than one way to get into the shopping center, ya think?

I mean, normally that would make me a little bit mad. I'm a pretty safe, quick-reflexed driver, though, so really, I didn't come all that close to hitting them, even with the slick rain-coated roads and low nighttime visibility. But that is no thanks to them. They made an extremely dangerous situation happen. The thought of what kind of damage that moron could have done to my babies really made me want to rip their throats out.

Mama Bear. Don't piss her off.