Intervention

Dear Maternity Fashion Industry:

I'm really worried about you folks. Seriously-- the amount of crack you must be smoking cannot at all be healthy. If you admit you have a problem, then you can begin to heal.

Because you must be smoking something if you think that 98.00 for a plain white cotton blend oxford blouse is at all appropriate. And those cute but sort of average jersey/rayon blend tops for 70.00? That's some kind of fantasy land you're living in. I can, and will, pay a good amount for something really really nice that will last me a long time. The cashmere blend sweater set was very pretty, and I liked the camel color that was better than the hot pink stuff you had all over the store, but it was a little pricey considering that it was only 15% cashmere and mostly silk. You can get almost the exact same kinds of sweaters for 30.00 at discount stores when you're not pregnant. 150.00 for it because there is a little more fabric is really outrageous. Do you not realize that as a pregnant person, I am anticipating a lot of necessary expenditures very soon? Like cribs? And diapers? And that my disposable income is not really earmarked for a silk shawl that granted is lovely but costs $90.00? And that adding a really cute pink ribbon to the sleeve of an otherwise completely ordinary white cotton blend blouse does make it cuter-- but it doesn't justify adding 40.00 to the price of the same basic top I can find at someplace like Target. Really. It doesn't. If that pink ribbon really cost you that much to add on to the shirt, you should get a new supplier.

You're doing much better on making and selling some things that aren't hideously ugly. That's good work. Now try to bring your cost down to something that a person like me, who is not planning on being pregnant forever, would pay. It's more in the range of 10.00-40.00. That's for an individual item-- pants, a top. Anything more than that is insane of you.

And please, cut back on the drugs that make you think that a place that offers clothes in that price range should ever, ever be called an "outlet" or a "discount" store. Because it's just cruel to drag a hormonally imbalanced woman, tired easily and slightly chubby and not in the mood to show off her bulges to everyone, into a shop thinking she'll get a fair price on a pair of pants that doesn't pinch her stomach but is not her husband's sweatpants. Get some therapy, before I have to because I can't find any clothing to wear and so lock myself in the house until my babies are in first grade.

Except for you, Liz Lange at Target. Your clothes are reasonably priced. But please, offer more than two options. And please, Target, move the maternity away from the plus size clothes. It's very confusing-- I can't tell which ones are maternity and which ones are plus... and it makes a difference.

Admit that you have a problem and stop supporting the hallucinogenic drug industry. Clothing is nice, but it shouldn't cost more than the GNP of a small country to have enough things to wear for a few days without having to do laundry.

Yours Truly,
Kim

p.s. I'm also really worried about you women who pay that much money for a tank sweater, even if it does have cashmere on the label. Get some help. Start a savings account for your kids for college. The cashmere blend sweater will last about four months and you'll never want to wear it again.