Crush # 64

When I was in high school, I had a terrible crush on a guy in my classes. He looked to me a lot like Corey Hart, played center on the football team (he was number 64). I used to listen to my Corey Hart album over and over again and think sadly and wishfully of my crush. I also used to sometimes call his house and hang up when someone answered (ah, what caller ID has lost us). He was sort of a quiet guy, shy. He had a brother who memory tells me was a twin, but who was apparently in a different grade (so either not a twin or they had differing academic talents.) He was in my English class when we were in 11th grade and used to sing the song "You Are So Beautiful" all the time, while looking at me. Now, with the wisdom of ages behind me, I figure he probably liked me too but had no idea how other than his little serenades to go about telling me.

In my capacity as a teacher's aid for another English teacher, I once had the opportunity to go into the files of our 11th grade English teacher. I saw his file, with his pre-writing activities, of what his favorite things were. On the list:

• favorites:
• his guitar
• Mellow Yellow
• girls in short skirts
• Dislikes:
• sand in shoes

My temptation from then on was to drop these little tidbits as things I too loved/hated.
Gee, don't you just love playing the guitar, while walking on the beach barefoot wearing a miniskirt, drinking Mellow Yellow? I would say, while walking past, showing him that I was indeed his dream girl. Alas, I never used my illicitly gained knowledge of his passions. That's the trouble with learning secrets-- is it really ethical to use them to your advantage? My 17 year old self didn't think so.

I wrote him a long poem once on a "candygram". It was about seeing him on the outside, and thinking him wonderful. Of course I didn't sign it-- that's the way crushes go! When I passed the temperature clock every morning during the late fall, the temperature almost every morning was 64 degrees, which I took to mean we were destined to somehow be together.

He dated a girl that I decided to hate-- calling her, because of a slightly horsey set of teeth and an unfortunate incident where I saw her eating an apple-- horse-face. My loyal friends & I used to make horse noises whenever she walked by. Of course, she had no idea I even existed so wouldn't have known we were mocking her.

When I first began to date my high school sweetheart, here known as the EVIL EX, I saw #64 at a party with a girlfriend. It just never seemed that we would connect, even though I still thought he was cute.

Years later, as I worked at a hotel downtown across from the Civic Center where all the big bands would play, there was a Jane's Addiction concert that he and a bunch of his high school friends rented a room and attended. Probably having a wild party in the room. I saw #64 as he checked in to the hotel. I have to admit I was looking pretty hot-- long curly red hair, still a great figure. Still dating, unfortunately, the EVIL EX. But #64, well, the years outside of football hadn't been too kind-- he was a bit on the stocky side even in high school, and that had gone to fat in the two years since graduation. He looked somewhat wistfully at me, said hello. Did not sing anything. I'm guessing he probably had a girlfriend then, too, since if I were him and single, I would have invited me to the party. :)

But today, cleaning out the guest bedroom of books still (packing away the ones that will remained packed till the real job comes) I heard "You Are So Beautiful" and it reminded me of high school crushes that never cross.

Probably, it wouldn't have worked out and poor #64 would instead be referred to as the Evil Ex, instead of the actual Evil Ex. But it's a sweet memory of sighs, and dreams, and silly crushes. And for that, I am glad that it never happened, because is is still a sweet memory of a boy who sang to me.