What I Find Interesting

Yesterday, I posted the info about the sex offender databases, as anyone who reads me knows. The thing I have found both interesting and, if not disturbing, maybe just puzzling, is the reactions of some folks to me sharing the info that the databases are out there and my urging of people to look it up in their own state. I did NOT urge anyone to take any action regarding the info other than knowing it. I would not at all condone someone hurting someone else, or, in particular, the family of someone who had been convicted of such an offense and lived with them now. I think the worst thing we could do is further cut someone who has committed a crime off from society even more, cause then they have nothing more to lose if they re-offend.

In my post, and the email I sent to a few folks, I said that these databases exist, and I was shocked to see how many offenders were in my neighborhood. I told folks to check and see their own neighborhood because they ought to know this info.

I've gotten a lot of folks offering comments like "keep in mind that these aren't all rapists" and to remind me to not judge them too harshly. Someone said that maybe they could even be some woman busted for sunbathing topless. There was ONE woman out of the list I saw. She was listed as having committed a crime against a young child. I don't know if that meant some kid saw her topless, but I doubt it.

The thing I wanted to say in this post, though-- it's not like these are people ACCUSED of sexual offenses against others. They are convicted. I realize they have served their time and should, if actually reforming, be free to live as normal a life as they can. But statistically, most sex offenders offend again. And they aren't innocents here who I am maligning by pointing out they have a record. I didn't' name any particular people. I didn't say "go throw flaming dog poop at their doors." Do NOT do things like that, because that makes you a criminal too.

I get the distinct impression that people are apologizing for someone being in this database, and assuming that knowing the folks exist means you are going to start firebombing their houses. Some people even seem offended that I pointed it out, like me saying "hey, did you know this happens" means I am saying these folks have no right to exist. These people acting offended makes me sort of mad. As I wrote in a post not too long ago, I believe I narrowly escaped being molested as a child by an ex-con who had been a rapist, who worked with my step-dad, who we did not consider a stranger. The divine intervention of my dog alone probably saved me. It's possible that knowing the guy had raped someone in the past would have made my family a bit more cautious about him. Kept me away from him. I didn't say "go out and tie the guy to a whipping post for the rest of his life." But it seems that's what these folks who are "cautioning" me for telling you about it are implying I am saying, merely by pointing out that these databases exist and one should check to see if anyone you live near is listed in them.

I do understand that this info could be used by people to persecute someone rightly trying to reform. I also realize that in some events, (probably very rarely) people got on the list through something like a statutory rape law that meant an 18 year old could be prosecuted for being with his 16 year old girlfriend in a consensual situation. I knew that. I never implied otherwise. But I did see when I clicked the "details" of all the people I clicked, (and I didn't spend that much time in my database; just knowing it was there was enough for me), that the majority of the people listed were "offenses against children." And no one I saw was an 18 year old with the victim's age listed as 15. They were mostly older men-- old enough to be grandfathers to the kids listed as victims. That's not a "youthful indiscretion." It's rape. And while I don't think that ANYONE therefore has a right to go harass the guy for his actions, I do think that people have the right to be informed that he lives on the same block as you.

A few people have said "be careful with this info." I did not post the info; I merely told people it existed and they ought to check it out, be informed. The state did, because there has been proven to be a public interest in knowing this information, because folks who commit pedophilia, in particular, tend to offend again when exposed to "high risk" situations. (Like getting a job as a janitor at an elementary school-- something that happened recently in my hometown.) I think it's possible that there have been cases of unfair persecution of a person honestly trying to reform, having paid their debt to society and being hounded by people out to be jerks and using this as an excuse.

But finally, and here's where I am puzzled. Why are we apologizing for people who have been proven, in a court of law, to be guilty of a crime, by saying we should judge them too harshly? Of course I judge them very harshly. They were not forced by anyone at gunpoint to commit what everyone knows is a crime and immoral act. (I'm not talking about merely flashing your boobs at someone.) Just because I judge them harshly does not mean I do not forgive them. If they are genuinely trying to reform, I'd even go out of my way to say I'd be willing to help them do so. But I wouldn't trust them with my child. Anymore than I would trust someone who had stolen money from me in the past with my bank card.

Feministe posted a commentary on a "No Pity. No Shame. No Silence" thread where there are a lot of survivors coming "out of the closet" about their experiences. And on Feministe, the woman who posted also put a link to a stunning poem about forgiveness. But at the same time, I want those who are apologizing for the people on the list of sexual offenders to think not so much of the harassment of someone on a database but on the life of the person who that sexual offender changed forever.