To Serve

Have you ever worked in a "Service" occupation? Like waiting tables, hairdresser, bartender, retail sales, maid, etc? I have. I worked in some sort of service job from the time I was 15 till I was a graduate student in college (at around 30something!). Most of us probably have worked this kind of job, maybe in college. I know a lot of the people I would work with were college students, out to make money for "fun" but not really supporting themselves on the money. There were a few college kids working their way through by tips, but most of them have other sources of income too. Granted, some of those "other sources" were things like student loans which they eventually have to pay back, but even some people who have worked service don't realize that there are people out there making so little money that they would consider being "at the poverty line" of $18,850 dollars for a family of four (that's mom, dad, two kids) A STEP UP! I know I would have for most of my life until I was married.

And that is what the US government considers IN POVERTY. There are people working to be beneath that level. Lots of them.

The reason I was thinking about this is that getting my hair done today meant, of course, that I would have to tip the hair dresser. I tip at least 20% for my hairdresser, and I even will tip that much if I happen to buy products which "boost" the receipt a bit. I also tip waitstaff between 15 and 20%, ALWAYS.* Even with the cost of a simple hairstyle/blowdry being outrageous (20 bucks! At a cheap place! Just to dry and style my hair! Cause I was feeling really lazy & wanted good hair with no work on my part!)

But I know a lot of people who resent having to tip, or tip really badly. My father-in-law, for example, figures $5.00 is a pretty darn good tip-- even if the check is 500.00. (Which is TOTALLY wrong!!) I often either scold him into tipping better, take the credit card slip AWAY from him and write a good tip on there, or afterwards sneak over to the server and give them more of my own money. Many times when I was a waitress someone who I worked my butt off for would give me ZERO tip. Once, this Colonel in the Air Force (I know what he was cause my hubby is in the military and I know the insignia) stiffed me on four checks he offered to "pick up" for his buddies. Those folks MIGHT have tipped me. So for being nice to his coworkers, he totally screwed me. Nice, huh? And I was a GOOD waitress, I guarantee.

My father in law's "figuring" of what is a good tip comes from the past when money was worth more. You could buy an expensive suit for 50.00 back then--something we'd pay hundreds for today. And so, many people have no clue who is supposed to be tipped. Did you know that if you stay in a hotel for an extended period of time and the same maid works on your room, you should tip them? Especially if you've made quite a mess once or twice? Beyond the typical "make bed, give towels" thing.

And I have had arguments with people who have said "I shouldn't be responsible for these folks' paycheck. They ought to be paid better so I don't have to tip them."

Guess what folks? If the people we tip WERE paid better, the owner would pass on the price to you. That five dollar hamburger at the local Sports Bar would be 8.00. And the wait-staff would not get all of the three dollar increase, I can promise that. So you're paying one way or another.

And the main way you pay, especially with people like a hairstylist, or someone at a restaurant you go to frequently, is in service. If you are a good tipper, your hairstylist will love to see you. S/he will go out of his/her way to fit you in. S/he will do the best work on you, because S/he wants you to like the work and come back again. If you're a crappy tipper, the staff will fight over who has to take your table. They will resent waiting on you. You will get bad service. (Of course, this will justify your crappy tipping to you, but think of how nice it would be to get GOOD service!)

I did not put myself through college, pay for fun stuff, with my tips. I paid the bills. Even when I was 15 years old and bussing tables at the fancy Cajun restaurant where the waitstaff made hundreds a night in tips, the money I made (a portion of the waiters' tips) went to pay the rent, or the power bill, or for food. My family was not doing so well, and every single penny was pinched. It wasn't that I was out buying the latest Madonna CD or a cute shirt to wear to school. I was helping so that we would not be evicted for not paying the rent. Lots of people who wait tables or cut hair are raising children on the meager minimum wage (or less, for wait staff-- did you know that? Wait staff gets paid LESS than minimum wage?) Or keeping themselves off of welfare.

And guess what else? At a nice restaurant, you're not just tipping the waiter who takes care of you when you tip. A waiter has to tip his/her busperson. And the bartender. And maybe others who helped. So of the 20% you tip the waiter, they have to tip others. Or they get a bad rep at the place they worked. And they have to tip their helpers even if you don't tip them. So then, they basically have to PAY for the privilege of bringing you stuff. Nice, huh? When I got left a crappy tip, say, a dollar off a 20 dollar check, I would say "Yay! Now I can buy that candy bar I've been saving up for!"

Part of why this is an issue is that there are people out there who say "F-them. They should have studied harder in high school." (Yes, dear readers, this is an EXACT quote from a clueless jerk who used to work with my husband.) And a lot of people say "Oh, they make lots of money. They're all union workers anyway." (Not in the South dears. There are not any waitstaff unions in the south, which includes all of the Gulf Coast, your tourist dollars and you.)

So you can work a 15 hour day, regularly, not get ANY breaks (yes! you can!) and barely enough time to sit for twenty minutes and eat a meal between shifts. So when you're figuring up that tip, think of how you would feel to have worked hard to bring someone their food hot, their drinks cold, and their silverware polished. To make the table nice & clean when you sit down. To be there when you need something else. It's damn hard work. And unappreciated by an awful lot of people. Sometimes, the difference between a "mediocre", so-so tip and a good one is a dollar. A measley dollar, that you're going to blow on a soda pop, or a candy bar at the movies, anyway. And it could make that person's day. I once got a 20 dollar tip on a check that was only 20 dollars. It was an old man, and I think he must have thought I was cute and friendly and it brightened his day for me to joke with him. What do you think that did for my day?

I once had a table of 15 people in a back room of the Mexican place I worked. Big tables are hard-- the kitchen is overtasked, and it's difficult to make 15 drinks at a time, etc. Think of how much effort it takes you just to make your own dinner, then multiply it by however many extra people. The place we were at had concrete floors. And paper menus. These folks dropped a bottle of ketchup on the floor. They stuck one of the paper menus on top of the spill, which was under the table, and didn't mention it to me. Several hours later, as I was cleaning my section, tired, 10 pm, ready to get off my aching feet and go home, I found the ketchup-stuck-menu and had to peel it off of the floor. It came up in strips because the ketchup had dried and had the effect of plastering the paper menu to the floor. And I couldn't go home till it was clean. Do you think I earned the 20% of that table? IF they tipped that much, because big groups tend to take it out on the wait-person that the food comes slow (it's the kitchen, by the way, not usually the waiter.)

Anyway. Rant over. Lecture finished. Just think about this next time you're at a place and have to fill out that little tip slot. If the person who waited on you was kind, and smiley, and brought you your extra stuff when you asked for it, and the food was hot, and fast, and the check came early before you even thought to ask for it, and the place was clean enough that you didn't worry about the cooties in the food, think of how much it is worth it to be able to enjoy your night. And then add 20% to that number. Just because.

*Of course, this is in the U.S. The rules of tipping are different in other countries.
**ewwww. As I was writing this the cat just came in and left me a lovely "tip." Time to get the papertowels.