Randomizers

Nowadays I don't get so much spam cause I have a spam program and a new email address. I'm sure those bastids will catch up with me eventually, but for now I'm good. But my hubby gets a LOT. He recently installed a new spam guard program which is pretty good--you have to pay for it, which of course makes me suspect the entire spam industry is out to get us. They took lessons from the drug dealers--saturate the market, then make them PAY.

Anyway, how the heck does this apply to you, dear reader? I have frequently had to help Andrew through the process of finding and deleting the spam the program above shuffles off to a special folder. In the process, I've noticed some really cute email subject headings. I kept meaning to make a blog entry out of them. Then this morning we got these lovely offerings:

"Tea party bodice rippers inside 66" and "was she wrong monk cat call?"

So here's the deal. I challenge you fabulous readers to a contest. Write me a story that includes those two elements of SPAM as a plot device or important theme. (It can be a short one. I already hear some of you complaining "But I'm not a good writer!" Baloney, I say. I re-emphasize, adding "Horse Hockey!"). Either post your story here in the comments, or post it to your own blog and make sure you post a link to the story here in comments. You have 24 hours. (I know!! I'm a stinker for deadlines).

The winner gets a free book. Seriously. It's called Millard Fillmore, Mon Amour by John Blumenthal. I'll have to have your street address to mail it to you, but I will even spring for the postage. It looks like kind of a cool book, by the way, so get thinking. If you don't want the free book, think of what else you might like instead. I actually have other books I could send you-- I get lots of them and never know exactly what to do with them. Another one that I'd be glad to send someone is a hardback copy of a book called Be Not Afraid For You Have Sons in America about the war in Kosovo. So if you're more a non-fiction history buff, that's what I have to lure you into the story-telling business.

Don't let someone win by default that there's only one person posting. Post away! Write something clever! Free Free Free totally free!

Oh, and later, I myself will post the second story in the Obfuscation contest winners. This one'll be dedicated to Tara. I think it's a story she'll like, based on my vast and extensive knowledge of her, gleaned from her blog. :)

And did I mention that I love my new office furniture? ::does happy dance::