Barbie Clothes? Would You Wear Them?

Helping the hubby research stuff for his stock venture* I was in a neck of the woods that I don't normally visit-- CNN Money. It was scary there-- news about Bull and Bear markets, investment profiles with charts that went up and down with math-like lines and numbers and stuff. For this English major, and girl who can easily figure out at least three languages, there just seemed to be a lot of language that was hard for me to get. Doublespeak and stuff.

But then I spotted her, that familiar glint in her wide blue eyes, the pink accessories, the oh so blond hair. Barbie. Barbie is launching a new clothing line for real women. For this girl who remembers well when Barbie mentioned math being hard, in my math-induced phobic reaction to the Money pages, she held out a well-manicured hand and said "succor"!

Remember dressing Barbie in those cute vintage-like Jackie-O clothes? Well, apparently, soon, you can pop into the Barbie store, right next door to, say Banana Republic, and pick up some kicky shoes and a matching belt. And lots of pink. The story says that Mattell (parent company to Barbie) opened several stores in Japan and they did very well.

I can see that. Many Japanese just love what is perceived as "American" culture. Andrew tells me in other places, there are "Lipton" stores that are like Starbucks here-- people think Lipton is soooo American, it's kind of cool to pop into these stores. I'm not sure Americans would think so-- I mean, Lipton? Bad, always tastes a bit instant to me tea? Too-salty soup?

So success in Japan doesn't mean that the Hilton sisters next-big-thing is to sport Barbie clothes on the red carpet.

But I wonder. I can see Barbie clothing doing well in a certain niche market. Maybe just BECAUSE of the camp value. Going clubbing? Want to pick up Ken? Perhaps you like GI Joe? Maybe the ultimate Barbie outfit is just the thing. But then, alas, you find that Ken & GI Joe in the real world are just as "anatomically correct" as our Barbie found when she finally kicked off those pink stillettos and pulled Ken/GI Joe into her "not so bendy" arms. Disappointing? Yes.

I'm pretty sure that is how the Barbie Mattel folks are going to feel eventually.

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*He says he is "looking to diversify our investments to outperform the Dow Jones for money to put our future kids through college and for our eventual retirement." Yes. That is a noble quest, and worthy. However, I suspect he really just wants to make enough on stocks to wander about the house dressed like Mr. Moneybags wearing a monocle and saying things like "OOh Muffy. Let's go to the coast" in an affected accent. Since his best accent is a Texan whose been drinking too much beer, I'm pretty sure that he can't do East Coast boat-club very well. I'm pretty sure he'll sound a lot more like Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School.