Back in the Spam O Sphere

Why did it take me three tries to spell sphere?

Okay. Anyway. Those of you who know me outside of bloggerland know that a while back I changed my email address because, what with the online presence at womenwriters, I was getting SO much spam. I downloaded email one day (and it hadn't been that long since the last download) and got something like 150 emails-- 2 of which I actually wanted to get. So the addy changed. It's a big step, changing the email address. It's worse, really, than changing your phone number because in this modern email based world we live, there are folks who we don't talk to all that often who are "email correspondents" who will not get the message, and somehow be lost in the world of email bounce. They may not be the closest friends, but I like keeping up with them.

Not to mention the email I accidentally lost when I deleted the "kim" address-- I didn't mean to delete them all, but there were about 500 messages in the folder and in trying to get rid, quickly, of the bulk of junk, I deleted everything. Probably most of that was junk. But there were most likely a few letters in there from people who now think I'm a total tool for not writing back, and are as we speak undoubtedly creating little voodoo dolls of me with a crashing computer and/or nasty rash on my arms. Just for that oh-so-important internet revenge. I would beg for mercy, but in deleting all those emails, I probably don't deserve it. It's karma, I know.

But ultimately, the loss was worth it for the almost year long (maybe that long?) respite I had from spam. It was really, really nice to open up my "inbox" and find that I didn't have dozens of letters about Viagra, or one of those Hilton chicks, or from that guy who really wants me to help him transfer some money, and will reward me handsomely for my bank account number.

But alas, there is much gnashing of teeth and rending of clothes. Today will go down as a red-letter email day.

Today, my friends, I realized that once again, my new address is in the "spam-o-sphere." I got one of those "bounces" from the virus protector of someone I don't even know, with my "cloned" email address as the source. That means that I'm in the virus list now-- no more freedom from the evil spam empire. It won't be long till I'm on on those damn lists again. And the meager protections of spam lists in our email programs are not worth really even mentioning. ::sigh::

I re-iterate a wish I have made before, wholeheartedly. I wish that deliberate spammers & virus creators be consigned to a special version of Hell, where they sit (in a non-ergonomically kind chair) at a computer (preferably installed with an OS that crashes every three seconds) and have to weed through millions upon millions of spam emails to find the ONE email that, if they found it, would entitle them to a second chance. And every time they open an email, they get, oh, let's say 7 more which pop up, messing up the list and making them start back at the top again. AND their "cupholder" will be broken, too.

That sort of punishment, my friends, would indeed prove that there is a God, and she is wise.