Teaching "men" to not "abuse women"

I use "quotes" around my title cause I'm really feeling a little critical of this ad campaign and article about "coaching boys to not abuse women." Yes, one definitely must start when people are children to keep violence out of the home. The article implies that "kids are exposed to violence outside the home" that will make them violent. I say, hooey! In my experience (and unfortunately, in my childhood I had a lot of this kind of experience) the best way to keep someone from being an abuser is to not abuse them. Abusers are not usually outsiders-- they are usually insiders-- it doesn't happen in some random strange place, it happens in your own living room. The only way to stop it? To not have a man in the house who abuses his wife/the child's mom. To not have a mom hurt you. Most abusers learn it from their parents. Do you really think that the people who are out there hurting their kids and spouses are going to read this lovely little internet article and think "wow, yes, that's certainly the answer. I've seen the error of my ways?" If you do, you're a lot more optimistic than I am about this. I do realize that MAYBE coaches, and teachers, and outsiders can possibly have some minor influence on a kid if they follow the advice in here. But I think it'll be minimal.

I think their heart is in the right place. People (and I don't just say men here cause I don't think men are the only culprits in a very violent culture) need to learn to be kind to each other, to not be violent. But I think these little suggestions are basically using a thimble to bail the ocean. The violent culture in which we live, where TV execs take out scenes of "sexual content" (which is a normal and good part of human life) and leave in "violence" of a level that makes me nauseous, needs significant changes. And I'm cynically afraid that it'll take a shift in human nature-- and that, my friends, will take a frickin' miracle.

Okay. Today's entry is cynical to the extreme-- I'll write a more positive one tomorrow, wherein I talk about our "tourist in your own home town" day. With pictures. :)