MDD: Mathematics Deficit Disorder

When I began this blog entry, it was to joke about how bad I am at math. On the GRE, years ago, even after intensive studying, I managed to score a 13% on the math section. That means that fully 93% of the population did better than me. (Yes. I know the math is wrong there. It's a joke.) This is the same exam on which I scored in the 90% on verbal and somewhere in the 60's on logic. I took an IQ test sponsored by the BBC a month or so ago and did embarrassingly bad on it-- primarily because of the two math sections on which I freaked out and, under the anxiety of doing word problems (I know, they are easy for apparently everyone else in the world but me) I did stupid things like accidentally answer two questions at once, and generally just panic. I totally must have missed something like all of the math related questions, because I felt I was doing okay on the other sections of the test. According to that IQ test, I should have never made it past 6th grade. So then what the hell am I struggling with my dissertation for? I should be happily finger painting or something. (Sounds good to me!)

I have generally made okay grades in math courses-- given time, and a calm environment, I understand theory of math quite well. Better, in fact, than my husband did when he tried to help me with the problems I was working during my college Algebra course. Long ago when I was studying math all the time and took the ACT to get into college, I scored an above average score for the math section (I don't remember the actual numbers. See. Numbers are bad). So, when it's something that I don't get anxious about, I can do math just as well as the next person.

But it really does seem weird that someone who is as advanced in education and pretty smart about a lot of other things can just be as bad at math testing as I am. Supposedly, the average grad student has an IQ of about 120. My BBC IQ "test" put me WAAAAAAY under that. But I did fine in grad school, aside from the normal lame freakouts that everyone has now and then, and a few "issues" with tests/essays/bosses. I made all A's with the exception of one independent study where my professor thought my paper was "eh." So-- one paper "eh." Surely that puts me above average, huh?

I mean, I am apparently really, really bad at certain math scenarios. Clearly, my math problem must not be my fault. There has to be some sort of psychological disorder-- maybe a drug I could take to fix my math phobia. Well. In planning this blog, I looked up "MDD" and found an entry for it. I found a similar one here (these authors are remarkably similar-- perhaps they plagiarism a bit? hmmm? Is that better than my math problems I ask you?)

The first website says: "It is possible that some people have problems in math because of their genetic makeup. In contrast to some families whose members have great difficulty solving math problems, there are other families who tend to have members that consistently have a very high-level of math functioning."

"See" she said defiantly. "My genetics have cursed me to do badly in math. I'm not, contrary to what the IQ test said, just smarter than Forrest Gump. I have a mental sensitivity, dammit. Me and Barbie understand that math is hard. I demand that you refigure your tests to not be biased against me. I deserve a good IQ score, too. I want to be able to lord over everyone how well I do on standardized tests! I want to be asked to join groups like MENSA and scorn them because they don't know the word means "stupid" in Spanish." (Yeah, sure. They're being ironic.)

It's just not fair for me to suck at things like that. I want someone to design an IQ test that appreciates my special form of genius. So. You psychologist types. Get busy. Write me a test that proves I am the genius I am. I'm going to go fingerpaint till you get it done.