January (not April) is the Cruelest Month

For most Americans, it's not Lent that is the time for penitence and virtuous redemption, it is the first few weeks of January. We try to quit things: smoking, eating too much, drinking, cursing. We go to the gym, that Foucauldian
Panopticon whose mirrored walls mercilessly show every bulge, every flaw, that was gained over the months of "holidays" from Thanksgiving to New Year's Eve. The machines in the gym are medieval torture devices of which deSade would approve-- they bend us, move us like hamsters on a wheel spinning every so often upside down. We vow to get that project we've been neglecting done at last. To spend more time with our loved ones. We say "while in our cars, we won't speed anymore; we won't flip people off and cut them off in traffic; we will drive like mature adults." We'll save money, pay down that credit card debt.

If you're in a "public place," now, or the next time you find yourself in some line at the coffee shop, look around the room-- chances are good that a few of the people who you see are suffering from secret aches and muscle pains-- too much weight lifting or step aerobic-ing. They're craving a cookie, or a cigarette, or a damned drink of wine. Their cravings cannot be expressed well because they've given up cursing, #%&@!!. They are neck-deep in guilt over something they've been putting off for so long it's almost an insurmountable task. They're trying to juggle their schedule to include new yoga classes, or weight watchers, or that second job to save more money. They have made resolutions, dammit, and they're going to do it this year!

So. In the light of this national season of purging and fasting and stubborn attempts to mold ourselves into the people we want to be, I vote you who are reading this today be kind to someone. Smile at them. Don't sabotage their diets by bringing in Krispy Kremes. Don't disparage that project they've been writing for years and have yet to get done. Don't ask them when they're going to settle down, find the right woman/man, have kids.

Instead, offer them help with some difficult task-- open the door, say thank you, give those of them you know well enough to do this for a massage. They might not notice it, might not even say thank you in return, but you will be doing something kind and small and local and helpful to your own cosmic karma.

Me, I'm too busy writing my dissertation and entering the food I eat into my online diet journal and going to the gym and studying to be an aerobics instructor. It's definitely up to you guys to keep the season of resolve going. I resolve to get back to work on my real job.